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Mediators?

Posted by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 10:03 PM
  • 22 Replies

Has anyone had success going to a mediator to agree upon a parenting plan?

Dh is tired of Bm whipping him back and forth. They'll make a verbal agreement  which will last for 3-6 months and then Bm will keep Sd away from him for months. It's awful. So he's wanting to file a parenting plan, and going through a mediator is cheaper than going to court. Thoughts? Advice? He just wants to get the typical plan (EOWE, switch off holidays, every other spring break, 3 weeks in summer, half of winter break, every other birthday, every other year for tax claim, involvement in school and major medical decisions, split transportation)

by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 10:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
crysiann
by Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 10:22 PM
My dh went through mediation. In our state it is required to do mediation before you can get a court date. My dh and his ex settled everything through mediation. It went really well.
paulswifey11
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 10:24 PM
Mediation hasn't worked so far so I wouldn't try it again
PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:35 PM
We have managed to get a substantial amount of issues squared away with mediation.

However, we were never face-to-face. Our lawyers went back and fourth between us and the mediator until a decision was reached.
crazymomma87
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:44 PM
Mediation did not go well for me. Both exdh and I ended up somehow agreeing to a bunch of stuff we really didn't want to. And he ended up not holding up his end of the deal anyways. But my situation is just one instance of it not going well. Good luck!
OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:50 PM
If you do go through mediation, I would inquire what the enforcement will be if BM has a history of withholding visitation. Even if they agree on a plan, if one parent doesn't follow, then what?

Is there no visitation schedule now?
abigailsmommy11
by Kelli on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:57 PM

Right now, it's been 3 months since we had her. We are supposedly getting her for a couple nights this month. They've never gone to court or anything, so aside from child support, there is nothing in writing. If a parenting plan is agreed upon and filed, won't we be able to call the cops if she withholds visitation?


Quoting OvrMyHead:

If you do go through mediation, I would inquire what the enforcement will be if BM has a history of withholding visitation. Even if they agree on a plan, if one parent doesn't follow, then what?

Is there no visitation schedule now?



OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I think so. Yes, get something in writing and filed.

Quoting abigailsmommy11:

Right now, it's been 3 months since we had her. We are supposedly getting her for a couple nights this month. They've never gone to court or anything, so aside from child support, there is nothing in writing. If a parenting plan is agreed upon and filed, won't we be able to call the cops if she withholds visitation?



Quoting OvrMyHead:

If you do go through mediation, I would inquire what the enforcement will be if BM has a history of withholding visitation. Even if they agree on a plan, if one parent doesn't follow, then what?



Is there no visitation schedule now?




Leigh84
by Gold Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 4:59 AM
My DH has settled things w/BM thru mediation and it was successful. In my state you have to try mediation b4 u can go to court.
miapia1020
by Bronze Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 8:00 AM
That depends on the state. In my state, you have to have a police-enforceable court order before police will be involved. Otherwise, you call and they say tough. I'm not sure how you'd go about making it police enforceable


Quoting abigailsmommy11:

Right now, it's been 3 months since we had her. We are supposedly getting her for a couple nights this month. They've never gone to court or anything, so aside from child support, there is nothing in writing. If a parenting plan is agreed upon and filed, won't we be able to call the cops if she withholds visitation?



Quoting OvrMyHead:

If you do go through mediation, I would inquire what the enforcement will be if BM has a history of withholding visitation. Even if they agree on a plan, if one parent doesn't follow, then what?



Is there no visitation schedule now?





hissminenours
by Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 8:09 AM
In my state it's a civil matter, meaning police don't get involved in custody issues. Mediation did not work here as BM was not willing to be reasonable. Mediators can't force compliance.
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