Do you "let" the kids pass along changes in visitation to their parent(s) or do the BPs in your situation handle that communication?
My SDs are in 8th and 10th grades. Currently, they are living with BM in another state about 10 hours from where DH and I live.
In the past (when they lived with us 50/50+), changes in the day to day schedule (ex: need to be picked up early, change in practice time, etc) were typically handled with a phone call or text from the kids and we rolled with it. But we lived 5 min from the kids. Now, schedule changes typically involve whole days or even weeks, plane tickets, time off, organizing rides, etc.
Several weeks ago, BM approached us about swapping Xmas visitation weeks as she was going to have a surgical procedure and wanted to have some recovery time sans kids. There was a strong possibility that DH would be out of the country at that time, so I was involved in this discussion as well.
Fast forward to now...Both DH and I have made arrangements so that we can make the drive home and spend about 10 days there during the agreed upon time. If he has to leave prior to that, I'll still go. It's a little more than just taking time off, there are several other things we've juggled around to make sure we can be there.
While I was out of town last week, SD 8th grade mentioned to Dad that Mom wasn't going to have the procedure so there is no need to swap. That would be awesome for the kids because it would mean that they could participate in the usual DH family Xmas stuff. But it would also mean that we need to switch a whole bunch of other things around.
BM has made no mention of this to DH or to me. I'm inclined not to make any changes unless/until DH and BM discuss. To me, changes this "big" should be made by the BPs, not just get passed along by the kids. It's like pulling teeth to get the two of them to talk, and BM has been known to change her mind several times before settling on a plan so I'm looking at the alternate dates and working on plan B just in case.
But for discussion--do you let your kids pass along changes or do you insist that it be handled by the parents?