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According to BM, I have custody!

Posted by on Nov. 13, 2013 at 9:24 AM
  • 61 Replies

That's right ... I informed her that I would be out of town and that if either of the SK's got sick then the school would call her as DH is out of town for work and has no phone signal.

She then informed me that as his wife, I have custody and to "figure it out" because she has to work.

I told her that I do not have custody, her and DH do, and since he is unreachable at the moment they would call the next parent, HER!

Again, she tried to tell me that the kids are my responsibility and not hers.

Anyone want to trade BM's here? She complained that she wasn't getting updates on the kids. I give important updates then she tells me, "Not my responsibility" ... 

by on Nov. 13, 2013 at 9:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 9:26 AM
1 mom liked this

you can avoid this kind of drama by having your DH communicate directly with her instead of you.  Why did you inform her that you were out of town, instead of your DH? You act like you have custody. That is what she meant.

And she's right. You act like you have custody, now you figure out what to do.

annabl1970
by Gold Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 9:27 AM
She wasn't really interested. She just wanted to "mark her territory" and/or look good in the eyes of school stuff.
If she was really interested in being a mother she wouldn't choose that abuser over her children.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
andie646c
by Silver Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 9:29 AM

She already knows DH is out of town. DH has no phone signal and hasn't since yesterday. We thought he would be back in town before I had to leave to go out of town so hadn't told her beforehand. 

So, since he doesn't have much of a way to make contact with anyone, I let her know so that she had a heads up that the school might call her so that she didn't freak out that no one had told her anything about the kids.


Quoting whatIknownow:

you can avoid this kind of drama by having your DH communicate directly with her instead of you.  Why did you inform her that you were out of town, instead of your DH?



annabl1970
by Gold Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 9:31 AM
1 mom liked this
No matter who has a custody good parent would want to know when her kids are sick.
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whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 9:35 AM
1 mom liked this


so when your DH left he didnt know that you would also be out of town? there was no way he could communicate this to her before he left? He has no access to email? You can't reach him in an emergency?

who is taking care of the kids while you are both out of town?

Quoting andie646c:

She already knows DH is out of town. DH has no phone signal and hasn't since yesterday. We thought he would be back in town before I had to leave to go out of town so hadn't told her beforehand. 

So, since he doesn't have much of a way to make contact with anyone, I let her know so that she had a heads up that the school might call her so that she didn't freak out that no one had told her anything about the kids.


Quoting whatIknownow:

you can avoid this kind of drama by having your DH communicate directly with her instead of you.  Why did you inform her that you were out of town, instead of your DH?





Linagma03
by Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 9:35 AM
8 moms liked this

 People won't like what I'm going to say but if she feels that way then tell her to sign custody over to you legally then she won't have to be bothered by anything dealing with her kids. Trying to keep an uninterested mother in the loop about her kids isn't easy you try to tell them what is going on and they ignore you or change the subject then later scream at you for not telling them anything. I'm living that now.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 9:36 AM


so wait - you will also not have a phone signal? 

Quoting andie646c:

That's right ... I informed her that I would be out of town and that if either of the SK's got sick then the school would call her as DH is out of town for work and has no phone signal.


Leigh84
by Silver Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 9:38 AM
Sounds like a winner. I wouldn't communicate w/her. I'd let DH deal w/her to spare you the drama
andie646c
by Silver Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 9:41 AM

No, I can not reach him in an emergency at this moment.

The kids are at school, I should be back shortly after they get out. Both are old enough and mature enough to care for themselves for a short period of time if I should be delayed.

He did know that I would be taking my son to a doctors appointment. He did not know that he would be without phone service for this long.

We do not give BM personal information regarding chidlren that are not hers. Regardless of when she was told, she would have had the same reaction. That DH and I have custody so we need to figure it out. 

Quoting whatIknownow:


so when your DH left he didnt know that you would also be out of town? there was no way he could communicate this to her before he left? He has no access to email? You can't reach him in an emergency?

who is taking care of the kids while you are both out of town?

Quoting andie646c:

She already knows DH is out of town. DH has no phone signal and hasn't since yesterday. We thought he would be back in town before I had to leave to go out of town so hadn't told her beforehand. 

So, since he doesn't have much of a way to make contact with anyone, I let her know so that she had a heads up that the school might call her so that she didn't freak out that no one had told her anything about the kids.


Quoting whatIknownow:

you can avoid this kind of drama by having your DH communicate directly with her instead of you.  Why did you inform her that you were out of town, instead of your DH?







andie646c
by Silver Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 9:43 AM

I should have phone signal, but I will be 2 hours away and unable to pick up either kid. So, the school would call her.

She is also the second person listed on the paperwork. So, they call DH (and won't be able to get ahold of him) and then would call her because she is their mom. I was simply letting her know that I would not be able to go pick them up and she would have to since she is their mom.


Quoting whatIknownow:


so wait - you will also not have a phone signal? 

Quoting andie646c:

That's right ... I informed her that I would be out of town and that if either of the SK's got sick then the school would call her as DH is out of town for work and has no phone signal.




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