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Just curious

Posted by on Nov. 13, 2013 at 3:12 PM
  • 74 Replies

How would you feel if your spouse did not tell his children about your marriage?

Would you marry someone that hasn't told his kids that you were getting married?

by on Nov. 13, 2013 at 3:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Nov. 13, 2013 at 3:15 PM
No. My skids had never met bms husband before te wedding. It was a hard transition for them. Thank Goodness it seems to be working out now. He seems cool with them. He buys them stuff and I think that helps with any teenager. Lol.

But Maybe it depends if he is a widow or why the divorce happened. I wouldn't secretly marry someone though. Just saying those might be some reasons.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 3:19 PM

I think it would depend on the relationship with the children and the custodial arrangements, if Dad is end of weekend NCP, I don't think it is a major deal since SM won't be involved much with the children.

soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 3:20 PM

Let's say divorce happened 5 years ago. She left him after 5 years due to issues she had with him. This is his 2nd marriage since the divorce. Both marriages since the divorce were done without telling kids. First one he called immediately and told them this time it's been a few days and nothing. Kids are 11 and 7.

Quoting Steamedpuddle30:

No. My skids had never met bms husband before te wedding. It was a hard transition for them. Thank Goodness it seems to be working out now. He seems cool with them. He buys them stuff and I think that helps with any teenager. Lol.

But Maybe it depends if he is a widow or why the divorce happened. I wouldn't secretly marry someone though. Just saying those might be some reasons.


soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 3:22 PM

Dad is LDNCP. Do you mean you don't think it would matter much to SM because there isn't much involvement or the kids since they won't see her much?

Quoting leegirl_jm:

I think it would depend on the relationship with the children and the custodial arrangements, if Dad is end of weekend NCP, I don't think it is a major deal since SM won't be involved much with the children.


sid1083
by Bronze Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 3:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it depends on how often that parent is involved. BD in my case has been married for 1.5 years but my kids (2 & 4) don't know. Then again, BD hasn't come around in a couple years.

I think if the parents are reasonably involved with the kids, something should be said. I know if it were me, I wouldn't be getting married if SO didn't say anything to his kids (or family). I won't be a dirty little secret . . . then, surprise!! 

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 3:28 PM

Both, it isn't usually a significant relationship where the stepchildren are concerned. 

Quoting soonergirl980:

Dad is LDNCP. Do you mean you don't think it would matter much to SM because there isn't much involvement or the kids since they won't see her much?

Quoting leegirl_jm:

I think it would depend on the relationship with the children and the custodial arrangements, if Dad is end of weekend NCP, I don't think it is a major deal since SM won't be involved much with the children.



Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Nov. 13, 2013 at 3:48 PM

My kids didn't know about the wedding.  They visited and saw the rings.  Kids cared for a bit, but not enough to make a stink.  Don't know if Sm cared or not.  

GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 3:50 PM

I think BOTH.  The distance makes it kind of unimportant to both the kids to SM and the kids.  Moreso the kids I would think because I personally couldn't be with a man that uninvolved with his kids.

Quoting soonergirl980:

Dad is LDNCP. Do you mean you don't think it would matter much to SM because there isn't much involvement or the kids since they won't see her much?

Quoting leegirl_jm:

I think it would depend on the relationship with the children and the custodial arrangements, if Dad is end of weekend NCP, I don't think it is a major deal since SM won't be involved much with the children.



saywhat2102
by Gold Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 3:50 PM
I don't think I would want to marry someone who wouldn't want to tell his kids. I guess it sounds odd to me.

It not like suprise kids I got a new car.
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leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 3:59 PM

Is the marriage changing anything for the children?

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