I suppose it could go either way, mother or father, but in a situation where the parent's are no longer together, what makes one parent "bad"? My DH's ex has gone on a rampage of badmouthing DH saying he's a bad father and how SF has stepped up to the plate because DH is shirking his duties as a father. She has denied visitation for the last 4 years. We showed up for visitation (they live in Iowa) to find out they are here in MI (where we live) no more than 20 minutes from our home. This has happened the last two years. DH is to pick up at beginning and BM is to pick up at end. They were coming to MI this summer so we asked if she would drop SD off and we would bring her home and she said yes. DH was SO excited. Then she stopped responding to emails right before they were to leave. Then sent me an email while here in MI that she's not going to drop SD off because DH is behind in child support. (In December of last year, he lost his job due to health issues and was off work per doctor orders. Prior to that he was on time and paid in advance in support and support is now currently being paid and has for 3 months on time.) DH called SD and BM was yelling in the background "tell him he's a piece of shit father and you never want to see him again." SD complied. DH asked SD if she wanted to hang up and talk later and she said yes. Since this time in June, the calls he makes go unanswered. The BM and SF are telling SD that DH doesn't want to see her and that he's a bad father. DH is in the process of filling out paperwork to file contempt of court and to hopefully start seeing his daughter again. I just fail to see how DH is a bad father and would love some input on how he's a bad father. Should support be paid on time? Yes but since SF is stepping up and being "dad" what does it matter? *insert sarcasm* I do think support should have been paid but with neither of us working and the doctor saying he couldn't work, there was little we could do. Should DH filed court papers sooner? Absolutely and he's dropped the ball when it came to that. But do those things really make him a bad father? I don't see how he can be a bad father when he's not ALLOWED to be a father. Am I wrong? Is he a shitty parent because he was late on support and didn't file papers sooner?
I know I should just not listen to what they say but it's being said to SD and she's being led to believe her father no longer wants her and that is SO far from the truth. My DH shares in helping me and my ex with my two children from my previous marriage. DH, my ex and I get along and we work together. DH has been to every single one of my children's conferences over the past 10 years, takes them to sport practices and goes to games, takes them to movies and their father is active in their lives. We have two children together who he spends everyday with; playing with them, reading with them, etc. To my two children and our two children, he's been a great father. It's because I LET him be an active part. Am I just blind because he's my DH and so I just think he's a good person and good father? I'm sad and frustrated that my children have no idea who their half sister is and the toll it's taken on my husband.