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At what age .... UPDATED WITH AN INTERESTING QUESTION

Posted by on Nov. 15, 2013 at 5:15 AM
  • 155 Replies
1 mom liked this

... would you expect your child to get herself/himself up in the morning, have breakfast, pack up his/her stuff and take herself/himself to the school bus, without a parent in the house?


Okay, so the purposes of the post wasn't to collect feedback in order to challenge BF ... I won't, not worth it, especially since no harm was done.

But here is an interesting question ... DD never had a tardie, and I think the last time she was off school for illness was about 5 years ago, when she had a sick note from the doctor (rather bad stomach bug). But some people mentioned "consequences", and I wonder how this would work in a CoD scenario.

For example, I'd never trust DD to get herself to school on time without checking. Getting ready, fed and watered, packed up? Yes! But leaving the house on time? Nope! So I wouldn't do it, or only after implementing a plan B (i.e. setting two alarms, leaving house phone next to her bed ... things I also to with DF).

BF obviously doesn't agree. So imagine she would have gotten a tardie ... in a scenario with two homes, how do consequences work?

by on Nov. 15, 2013 at 5:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 6:42 AM
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sd12 and ss7 already do that at their mom's house-I can't give a honest answer because my daughter is nearly 10 and unable to get herself up and ready.

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 6:49 AM
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On a one off emergency basis, about 14. As a practice, age 18, a parent should be there to oversee that the child left the house at whatever time.
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Pero3
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 6:53 AM
1 mom liked this



Quoting leegirl_jm:

On a one off emergency basis, about 14. As a practice, age 18, a parent should be there to oversee that the child left the house at whatever time.


Would there be any "plan B" measures to ensure the kid actually makes it?

KLBrown
by Bronze Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 7:08 AM
3 moms liked this
They're too much like me - I'll trust them to wake themselves up when they're 30.

At 6 & 8, try can get themselves ready, get their own breakfast, and pack their stuff.

I won't trust them to get themselves on the bus until someone has a license and a car as a backup
newstepmom61811
by on Nov. 15, 2013 at 8:32 AM
My SD has been doing that since 11... jr. high here starts at 8:40 for that reason with well set up bus service to support the parents who have to work..,
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 8:33 AM

I would call the school to verify that the child is there.

Quoting Pero3:



Quoting leegirl_jm:

On a one off emergency basis, about 14. As a practice, age 18, a parent should be there to oversee that the child left the house at whatever time.


Would there be any "plan B" measures to ensure the kid actually makes it?


Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

Pero3
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 8:39 AM

Well, DD was with BF this morning, set her alarm, but in accordance with school rules, the phone had been set to silent, which they failed to check.

BF did call her, but phone on silent. He called his SDs, who duly got up ... and didn't bother getting DD up. Thank God DD has an early inner clock (all the mucking out in the morning), she woke up in time to get to the bus ... no breakfast though, no time to check whether she had all her stuff.

Couldn't get back into the house though, because the children are not allowed keys (they don't want the youngest to have one, meaning the two older don't get one either).

It's exam week this week, and DD was obviously really upset about the stressful start to the day.

I was just wondering whether others have kids aged 13 who manage all on their own.


Quoting leegirl_jm:

I would call the school to verify that the child is there.


leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 8:44 AM

Well, that is life with her Dad, she will manage, she should be used to the chaos that occurs like clockwork at his house by now.

Quoting Pero3:

Well, DD was with BF this morning, set her alarm, but in accordance with school rules, the phone had been set to silent, which they failed to check.

BF did call her, but phone on silent. He called his SDs, who duly got up ... and didn't bother getting DD up. Thank God DD has an early inner clock (all the mucking out in the morning), she woke up in time to get to the bus ... no breakfast though, no time to check whether she had all her stuff.

Couldn't get back into the house though, because the children are not allowed keys (they don't want the youngest to have one, meaning the two older don't get one either).

It's exam week this week, and DD was obviously really upset about the stressful start to the day.

I was just wondering whether others have kids aged 13 who manage all on their own.


Quoting leegirl_jm:

I would call the school to verify that the child is there.



Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

kellynh
by Kelly on Nov. 15, 2013 at 8:49 AM
4 moms liked this

It seriously depends on the kid and how they were raised. I raised my girls to be very independent. Some people raise their kids that someone will always be there to clean up their mess... I want my kids to know  will support them, but if they fail.. There are consequences...

With that said, my older two could have done it by age 10. However, there is no way n hell I'd leave a 10yo alone, so I'd say 13 on occasion... But 14 def. They would also have to call so I know they were okay. 

bnc2712
by Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 8:55 AM
6 moms liked this
I was able to get myself up and ready by middle school.. I was 11. My mom was usually home, but I had an alarm and got myself ready. My brother, she had to drag out of bed every morning.
Each child is very different. It has to depend on how independent, motivated, and trustworthy he or she is.
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