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Sometimes I hate my SS

Posted by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 1:38 PM
  • 75 Replies

Santa gave him an Ipad for christmas and he takes it home with him through the week. He's here eowe and he just holes up in his room in the basement the whole time, unless food's in the table.  I really don't care about that too much.  He is 13.  I just think he's weird.  

What is really upsetting me the most is that when he's here, he won't share his damn Ipad with my 4yr old son. What the hell, he can say yes every now and again.  My bio son was crying because SS wouldn't "share his toy" with him. Granted at the time, SS was using his desktop.  I just knocked on his door and asked if he was using the Ipad he's like no.  So I asked if bio son could use it, he was hiding it in his lap.  He was just being mean and greedy.  He handed over the Ipad for bio son to use.  I just talked to my husband about it.  I just think it's ridiculous that I had to intervene.  My husband just shrugged and said okay.  So problem NOT solved.This 13yr old is teaching my 4yr how not to share. I just wanted to rant because I don't think anyone else listens to me or validates me.  It pisses me off.

BTW,

When he is asked to join the human race he mopes and has this morose look on his face and he complains the whole time.  I hate doing family things when he's included.  I just don't look at him so I don't have to look at that sour puss face of his and his shrugging shoulders.  

I sound like a teenager. 

Oh well, I feel a little better.  I really want 3o'clock to get here so I don't feel these ucky feelings toward my SS.


N

by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 1:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 1:45 PM
10 moms liked this

I don't think any 13yo would want to share their ipad with a 4yo. Nor should he.

it's not his job to teach your son to share. That's your job.

amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 1:48 PM
5 moms liked this
I pads are pretty expensive and it was gifted to him. I would not make him share it, especially with a 4 year old who is not likely to be as careful with it.

My SD is 4 and she has a child's touch screen tablet. I do not make her share that with Dd (age 2). I make them share most of their toys but some things belong to them and them only.

He sounds like a pretty typical teenager. Let him be.
LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Nov. 17, 2013 at 1:54 PM


Quoting whatIknownow:

I don't think any 13yo would want to share their ipad with a 4yo. Nor should he.

it's not his job to teach your son to share. That's your job.

And the 13 year old in question seems like a pretty normal teen to me.  

newstepmom61811
by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 1:54 PM
2 moms liked this

He's 13. He's there EOWE. You don't understand teens. Right now his world is his friends and connections to them through electronics...it's NORMAL at his age to pull away from family...and you're the EOWE home so he's already isolated there from his "normal" life and friends...then you expect him to share HIS gift with your FOUR year old...I don't expect my 13 year old to share her kindle with her FULL 5 year old brother...they are developmentally NOT on the same level that far apart in age...she is NOT her brother's keeper...PARENTS choose to have more kids...she did not...her "toys" are hers...I help him find age appropriate things of HIS to entertain him...

Sorry, you goofed...I would read up on teenage deveolopment so you better understand your SS13s NORMAL behavior. The fact that YOU also intervened, DH did NOT...that's going to set you up to being the "evil" SM when his behavior is actually NORMAL and you acted not seeing that. You also are going to build up resentment between SS and your child when you take SS things to give to DS...

I would work on yourself...on understanding where SS is developmentally. You made a bad mistake here not understanding teens.

KimimelasMommy
by Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 2:00 PM

Was the Ipad given to SS or is it to share? If it is SS then he should not have to share it as it was given to him. Just b/c ur SS is not sharing the Ipad does not mean he is showing ur 4yo not to share. If ur 4yo was playing with a baby toy and SS wants to play are u going to make 4yo give up the toy or would you be more mad that the SS is too old to play with the toy? Hate is a STRONG word and maybe the SS can feel that you hate him!! Try to find LOVE in things he does!!

ksuttle2012
by Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 2:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow. Are you kidding me?? Ipads are expensive and I rarely let my 5 yr old and 8 yr old touch mine. He's 13 for God's sake...his behavior is normal. Yours, however, worries me. How dare you have such a nasty attitude towards a child. You have a lot of growing up to do.

malinda74
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 2:04 PM
I agree. We don't make our teenagers share their expensive electronics with their younger siblings. Purchase an age appropriate iPad device for the four yr old if you are so inclined. BTW...teens generally need more personal space then younger kids and hormones are a raging. Cut him some slack and he might surprise you with a better attitude.


Quoting amanda_mom89:

I pads are pretty expensive and it was gifted to him. I would not make him share it, especially with a 4 year old who is not likely to be as careful with it.



My SD is 4 and she has a child's touch screen tablet. I do not make her share that with Dd (age 2). I make them share most of their toys but some things belong to them and them only.



He sounds like a pretty typical teenager. Let him be.

malinda74
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 2:09 PM
1 mom liked this
Buy your four year old son an IPad. Problem solved.

I think you're being hard on your SS. Thirteen is hard enough. Oh the hormones and teen drama. Please do your DH a favor and find one nice thing to say to this poor kid when he is there. Just one nice thing. You might be surprised how YOUR attitude towards him can change if you spoke out some nice things to him.
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 2:10 PM
2 moms liked this


This is an excellent idea. It really works!

Quoting malinda74:

 find one nice thing to say to this poor kid when he is there. Just one nice thing. You might be surprised how YOUR attitude towards him can change if you spoke out some nice things to him.



Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this

DS is almost 11, he isn't required to share his things, especially expensive things, with his 5 and 6 year old siblings.

The iPad belongs to the 13 year old, it wasn't purchased as a gift for both of the kids. If you want your 4 year old to have an iPad or tablet to play with, get him one.

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