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Kids Losing Things

Posted by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 8:08 PM
  • 96 Replies

SD9 is notorious for losing things - from little and insignificant to expensive and important.

For instance, we recently went home to visit my family. Her mom had grounded her from her iPod so SD14 let her borrow hers for the trip. During the trip, she left it in the bathroom of the frozen yogurt shop, on the table of the frozen yogurt shop (both times it was brought to her by someone who'd found it), before eventually leaving it behind in California altogether. 

Had it been her iPod, not her sisters, my DH would have had her just go without it until we went back to CA. Since it belonged to SD14, DH had my mom mail it to us and took the shipping cost out of SD's allowance.

SD also has a retainer (she's had it about 2 months) that she frequently misplaces. Fortunately it's always in a place where it can be found again (like one of her two homes). Last night, DH got a text from BM that SD lost her retainer while at a restuarant with a friend and each parent would have to pay $150 to replace it. DH's initial reaction was, "Sorry, she's going to have to go without. Even if I had the money to pay for it, she needs to learn there are consequences for being so irresponsible with her things." I agree with him. He hasn't responded to BM yet.

What would you do in this situation?

ETA: While I was typing this, DH drafted a text to BM that he would pay for it in January when he has his HSA available for reimbursement.

by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 8:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
crysiann
by Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 8:23 PM
Well, a retainer is a need. Does she have anything of importance to sell so she can pay for a portion towards the new retainer?
chasinrainbows
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 8:27 PM
What will be the consequence? I'm thinking more dental expenses down the road for your husband. I'm sure BM will replace it regardless and if it's in the CO for your husband to pay 50% of these expenses then a judge will make him.
runinpinkshoes
by Silver Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 8:30 PM


Oh that's a thought. I don't think she could come up with $300 but I would agree she should learn the value of a dollar through this. 

Quoting crysiann:

Well, a retainer is a need. Does she have anything of importance to sell so she can pay for a portion towards the new retainer?



amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 8:30 PM
1 mom liked this

A retainer is way different then an iPod... He needs to find the money for the retainer

runinpinkshoes
by Silver Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 8:35 PM


LOL. My husband's not the sort of deadbeat that would require the intervention of a judge to pay 1/2 medical costs. On the contrary, he's typically the one that pays for extras that BM refuses to pay. This particular matter is about the principle of it. And I'm not sure how this works, but wouldn't going to court cost a million times more than just paying the $150?

Quoting chasinrainbows:

What will be the consequence? I'm thinking more dental expenses down the road for your husband. I'm sure BM will replace it regardless and if it's in the CO for your husband to pay 50% of these expenses then a judge will make him.



crysiann
by Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 8:40 PM
1 mom liked this
Well thank you :) we have had to do this with my ss. He is 10. From the age of 7-9 it seemed that he lost everything! When he had to sell something of value to him, it helped him to be more careful.


Quoting runinpinkshoes:


Oh that's a thought. I don't think she could come up with $300 but I would agree she should learn the value of a dollar through this. 


Quoting crysiann:

Well, a retainer is a need. Does she have anything of importance to sell so she can pay for a portion towards the new retainer?





chasinrainbows
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 8:41 PM
I'm assuming BM expects your husband to pay half since she has stated just that. No, it won't cost her a dime to file Contempt. If she were to hire an attorney instead of doing it herself then attorney fees would most likely also be awarded on top if the $150. Kids lose things. A retainer isn't the lesson to teach her. An iPod yes. Retainer no.

Quoting runinpinkshoes:


LOL. My husband's not the sort of deadbeat that would require the intervention of a judge to pay 1/2 medical costs. On the contrary, he's typically the one that pays for extras that BM refuses to pay. This particular matter is about the principle of it. And I'm not sure how this works, but wouldn't going to court cost a million times more than just paying the $150?


Quoting chasinrainbows:

What will be the consequence? I'm thinking more dental expenses down the road for your husband. I'm sure BM will replace it regardless and if it's in the CO for your husband to pay 50% of these expenses then a judge will make him.




Skye24
by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 8:52 PM

First question : Why would you loan her an ipod that was someone elses when she had lose hers ? If you people can't see the forest for the trees , how can anyone tell you anything. ? She is too young and irresponsible to have a phone, ipod , etc. Children mature at different rates . She is not ready for such responsibility . GEEZ !  The retainers she needs . You as her parents need to be responsible when she takes them out . When she is with someone else, explain to then that they need to help her. No law says she has to have all these gadgets and if you want to keep giving them to her and watching her lose them . Then you people have no sense . Later on when she is older and proves herself with a cheap phone for at least a year or 2 . Only then would I consider something "fancy". I am talking 4+ years down the road . My daughter kept the same phone for 5 years because she kept breakin it . We just fixed it. When she went 2 years without dropping it , she got an iphone . She learned responsibility.  

buttercup627
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 8:52 PM
Depending on the custody arrangement he might have no choice. Look into it because sometimes they don't specify about orthodontics because it's cosmetic.

I can see your frustration, kids being careless and losing expensive things is really annoying BUT kids do that all the time. I personally think it's not worth wasting however much they already spent on her teeth because a 9 year old forgot to put them back on and they got tossed.
runinpinkshoes
by Silver Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 9:11 PM


I can appreciate what you're saying, but you're telling the wrong person; I'm not her parent and have no say in whether her parents want to give her an iPod. 

Quoting Skye24:

First question : Why would you loan her an ipod that was someone elses when she had lose hers ? If you people can't see the forest for the trees , how can anyone tell you anything. ? She is too young and irresponsible to have a phone, ipod , etc. Children mature at different rates . She is not ready for such responsibility . GEEZ !  The retainers she needs . You as her parents need to be responsible when she takes them out . When she is with someone else, explain to then that they need to help her. No law says she has to have all these gadgets and if you want to keep giving them to her and watching her lose them . Then you people have no sense . Later on when she is older and proves herself with a cheap phone for at least a year or 2 . Only then would I consider something "fancy". I am talking 4+ years down the road . My daughter kept the same phone for 5 years because she kept breakin it . We just fixed it. When she went 2 years without dropping it , she got an iphone . She learned responsibility.  



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