I am a custodial step mom and have been in SS6's life since he was almost 2 years old. Now he is almost 7. Well we have custody because BM is in prison. Long story short we gave BM's mom (SS's GM) typical dad visitation EOW and holidays. Well she lied all the time, about where she lived (over 100 miles got more visits), then she slapped SS in the face. We then decided enough was enough and hired a lawyer. Well we went to court about a month ago and now she only gets one weekend a month (temporary) and she is not allowed to bring child in the middle of the litigations and talk bad about us etc. She also is not allowed to take SS to see his mom in prison. We did this because my husband took him and we saw the emotional toll first hand it takes on him. It is only temporary till he goes to a psycologist so they can make their professional opinion on if he is stable enough emotionally to visit his mom in jail. Well this past weekend was her first weekend taking him for her one weekend a month thing. SS asked us to call him Saturday because he would miss us so we did and he asked to talk to me SM. I get on the phone and before he even says Hi he says "Why do you not want me to come to GM's house" and pretty much goes on to explain that they don't lie to him and that they said it's all my fault and that he wanted to know why.
That is putting him in the middle. And why all of a sudden is it my fault. They think I want to be his mom. I am not his mom, do I love him? YES! With all my heart but I have accepted that I am SM and will never add up to his mother and how much he loves her. Does he love me? YES! But not like he loves his mom and dad and I am okay with that. I grew up around people who had SP's and I know that no matter what his mom does she will always be his mom and I have come to terms with that. Well they think that it's because I want to push them all out of the picture so I can be Mom. If I did that it would break SS's heart. I just wish I could say this to them but everytime I try to explain myself I just dig a whole and put my foot in my mouth. But they are telling my SS who I TAKE CARE OF that it is all my fault. When in the end it is what they are doing to him that is giving them less time. We never would have changed the originial orders if she wouldn't have done all the things she did.
Just venting and need advice.
on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:12 AM