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You're not really her mom, right?

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I'm 25, almost 26.  I look like i'm 15.  I get it all the time...not complaining, just saying.

So my SD wanted to go to my place of employment and take a tour.  Its a tourist location, and its historical, so I figured sure, why not.  My son is 2.5 and wouldn't do well on an hour long tour.  So I took SD and DH stayed with our son.

Because I work there, the tour guides know me.  Our tour guide referred to me, and my SD as my daughter.  (I've always referred to her in conversation as my SD, but he just called her my daughter.  She didn't mind, and I didn't see the point in announcing to everyone 'oh no, she's not MY kid. '  I know my SD and I think she would take that in a negative way).

So in the middle of the tour, a woman stops me and says,

"She's not really your daughter, is she?"

I was slightly taken aback at her confidence that SD could not possibly be mine.  I mean, she looks like she could be...(until you see her mom).  I would have been 17 when she was born.  So, its definitely possible. 

I simply said, "No, he's mistaken, she's my SD.  Great kid, huh?"


And then she said "Oh, well I'm really surprised.  Usually stepmoms are mean!  She really seems to like you."

She was very nice, and I could tell she didn't mean it in a mean way, but i was really kind of shocked that so many people think that!  I came home and told DH about it and he wasn't surprised in the least. 

Has this ever happened to you guys? 

by on Nov. 18, 2013 at 9:02 PM
Replies (11-20):
by Platinum Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 9:44 PM
Yep. I was 19 when I had her. Looked 10. Bf at the time looked 12 lol. He's aged a LOT over the last decade though. Meth and whatever the hell he's on, drinking, smoking...he looks in his 40s w missing teeth. Sm, who's I think 23 now? looks older than me too. They're lifestyle doesn't become them.

Quoting soonergirl980:

I got my real id taken by a bouncer when I was 28 lol I was a young mom as well had DS when I was 18 but I looked about 11. DH has actually been told he should know better than to be with someone so young. I am a year older than him lol.

Quoting minimoo:

Dammit! Hit add reply before I wrote anything lol.

I get the same thing. I look really young for my age too. I got carded when I went to go see Bridesmaids (trying to remember when that was out- I think I was 28). The guy, practically a kid himself, asked where I got my "fake" ID bc it was "so good it looks real". I laughed and said it was real. People always tell me "you are WAY too young to have 3 kids, let alone a 10 yo". ODD is my Minime (ds is dh's Minime and YDD looks like a combo of the two of us), so when we are out, people will ask if we are sisters. I did become a mom young though.

Quoting soonergirl980:

I have had that happen to me with my own children. I tend to look quite young for my age both of my oldest 2 are taller than me. When DS14 was about 4 weeks old he was in a snow suit and someone thought he was one of those home ec dolls.

by Gold Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 9:48 PM
I get the young comments as well. I won't lie at this point being almost 33 I mess with people lol! I get carded all the time and get funny looks when I mention I have a 4 year old, if I get the 'oh she's so young' reaction, I work in my 8 and 10 yo's. and let them think I was VERY young before I drop the 33 bomb.
My dss and I get along very well and I have never ha anyone make a negative comment bc I'm his stepmom.
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 9:48 PM
Yes! -with the age thing. People seem to think I'm still 18-21ish. When they see me with my tween they seem to think I'm barely old enough to have a toddler.
The one thing I hate the most is when people STILL tell me there's no way I had a baby because I'm thin and fit... Seriously, it wasn't like I had her yesterday.
by on Nov. 18, 2013 at 9:59 PM
She must only have met some really horrible step moms then.
by Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:01 PM

Yes. I actually had someone tell me that neither of my kids could be mine because they don't look like me. They actually look just like my mother in law. It kinda annoyes me when people do that but both my kids speak up before I have the chance. Coulda blown this guy away when my SD said "No she's not my real mommy she's my better mommy."

by on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:03 PM
I would have slapped anyone who said that to me.
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by Gold Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:03 PM

You bet it's happened.

I was nineteen when I started dating DH; SS was three.

There was one week when DH had to work overnights, and hardly got to see SS during his visitation. I picked SS up from his grandma's house and took him to his most favorite restaurant - Chick Fil A. SS was so excited and spent the entire time talking to me. During our conversation, he mentioned that he missed DH. I told him that his dad missed him too, but he would see him in the morning for a few minutes. I then told him that since I had night classes, we needed to wrap up eating and go back to grandma's.

As we finished eating I overheard an elderly lady at the table next to us, going on about how I was one of those teenage whores that was popping out babies and making my grandparents raise my children. Her husband, who was very embarrassed, kept glancing over at me and saying ‘we don't know the whole story' to try to get his wife to shut up.

I get a lot of double takes from teachers (SS's and my own) when they find out I have a six year old SS. Most of my peers are stunned to find out I'm a stepmom, too. In their minds, I'm too young to be an SM.

by Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:06 PM

Well kinda yes. My SD has lived with us full time for 5 years so I am used to referring to her as just DD. I've had people look at me odd- she is almost 13 and I'm 29, plus she is a different race 

But I get a kick out of sticking to my guns when people question my parent status and just say "yeah, and?" :)

by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:16 PM

I'm not selling anything, and yes it really happened.  I don't really know what else to tell you. 

Quoting whatIknownow:

A total stranger said to you, "usually stepmoms are mean?"

Not really buying that. Sorry.


Quoting lovemyfriend:


And then she said "Oh, well I'm really surprised.  Usually stepmoms are mean!  She really seems to like you."




by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:24 PM

 congrats on the pregnancy!  yeah, sometimes the "young" comments are a little out of nowhere.

Quoting luckystars2012:

LOL heck people ask my if my own DD is mine.  I look young.  I'm 26, but I'm 5' and fluctuate between a size 4-7 (thank you thyroid issues) when I'm not pregnant.  I get carded to buy alcohol, cigarettes (for j, I dont smoke unless im drinking, which is very very rare), etc.  I constantly get told that I dont look any older than 16-17, so my 6yo dd cant POSSIBLY be mine!

Im 35 weeks pregnant right now, so weve had some interesting moments, especially when I'm out with DD and 9yo SS.  I had one lady actually say "youd think after being a teen mom once youd learn what birth control was!" bad for her, I was drinking water at the time and I spit it all over her because I busted out laughing.  


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