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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

You're not really her mom, right?

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I'm 25, almost 26.  I look like i'm 15.  I get it all the time...not complaining, just saying.

So my SD wanted to go to my place of employment and take a tour.  Its a tourist location, and its historical, so I figured sure, why not.  My son is 2.5 and wouldn't do well on an hour long tour.  So I took SD and DH stayed with our son.

Because I work there, the tour guides know me.  Our tour guide referred to me, and my SD as my daughter.  (I've always referred to her in conversation as my SD, but he just called her my daughter.  She didn't mind, and I didn't see the point in announcing to everyone 'oh no...no no, she's not MY kid. '  I know my SD and I think she would take that in a negative way).

So in the middle of the tour, a woman stops me and says,

"She's not really your daughter, is she?"

I was slightly taken aback at her confidence that SD could not possibly be mine.  I mean, she looks like she could be...(until you see her mom).  I would have been 17 when she was born.  So, its definitely possible. 

I simply said, "No, he's mistaken, she's my SD.  Great kid, huh?"

 

And then she said "Oh, well I'm really surprised.  Usually stepmoms are mean!  She really seems to like you."

She was very nice, and I could tell she didn't mean it in a mean way, but i was really kind of shocked that so many people think that!  I came home and told DH about it and he wasn't surprised in the least. 

Has this ever happened to you guys? 

by on Nov. 18, 2013 at 9:02 PM
Replies (21-30):
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:25 PM

Yep once I had all 3 kids with me (sd12,dd9 and ss7) in the grocery store-the guy thought i was their OLDER SISTER (I"m 32 and yes he just carded me)....he was shocked to hear I was a MOM to a 9yr old and stepmom to the other 2

and a lot of ppl say sd12 is mine because she looks a lot like me and DD9 but like your sd-once she's next to mom-she's BM's mini me!

I just shrug it off :)

abigailsmommy11
by Kelli on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:27 PM

People assume that Sd 4 is mine all the time. It's funny to me when someone I went to high school with thinks she's mine, I would have had to be pregnant for most of my senior year for her to be mine. :) lol

mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:30 PM
Why I get quite often comments like she's lucky to have you! I don't know many sms that would put up with a man who's kid has autism. There are more comments but those are the most resent. I typically roll them off with I love her and her dad or thanks ill take it as a compliment.


Quoting whatIknownow:

A total stranger said to you, "usually stepmoms are mean?"

Not really buying that. Sorry.



Quoting lovemyfriend:



And then she said "Oh, well I'm really surprised.  Usually stepmoms are mean!  She really seems to like you."





luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:30 PM

Thanks!  Now I just need the next few weeks to fly so he can come out!


Quoting lovemyfriend:

 congrats on the pregnancy!  yeah, sometimes the "young" comments are a little out of nowhere.


Quoting luckystars2012:

LOL heck people ask my if my own DD is mine.  I look young.  I'm 26, but I'm 5' and fluctuate between a size 4-7 (thank you thyroid issues) when I'm not pregnant.  I get carded to buy alcohol, cigarettes (for j, I dont smoke unless im drinking, which is very very rare), etc.  I constantly get told that I dont look any older than 16-17, so my 6yo dd cant POSSIBLY be mine!

Im 35 weeks pregnant right now, so weve had some interesting moments, especially when I'm out with DD and 9yo SS.  I had one lady actually say "youd think after being a teen mom once youd learn what birth control was!" bad for her, I was drinking water at the time and I spit it all over her because I busted out laughing.  





lovemyfriend
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:31 PM

I've gotten that before with my own son, from people who I went to highschool with.  I had him when I was 5 years out of highschool. 


Quoting abigailsmommy11:

People assume that Sd 4 is mine all the time. It's funny to me when someone I went to high school with thinks she's mine, I would have had to be pregnant for most of my senior year for her to be mine. :) lol


 

twinklebites
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 9:21 AM

SO DS's are 22 and 25 I am 37, SO IS 47. We all acted like his kids at dinner one day after some women comment on how good looking his "kids" were ...Funny thing is ODS isn't his Bio-kid but he has been in his life since 5-6 months old. SO was not happy I didn't correct her , but the boys and I had quite a laugh about it!

daddysgf
by and that's all on Nov. 19, 2013 at 9:22 AM
1 mom liked this

The one I get that cracks me up:
I live in Canada and our legal drinking age is 19. I'll usually run into the liquor store with SS because they give out stickers and suckers... the kid is 4 and looks 5/6.. I get ID'd EVERY time and they reference him being my son.. like yeah. I'm under 19 with my 5/6 year old at the liquor store. 

Leigh84
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 9:24 AM
Ha! Last year I was 28 and OSS was 14. I usually refer to him as my SS or sometimes if I'm referring to both of them I'll say "the kids" well anyway one of the managers at work says to me, "you have a 14 yr old?!?" (DH and BM were only 18 and 19 when OSS was born) I almost died laughing. No way am I dumb enough to have a kid at 14 lol

As far as me "mean step mother" comment that's just ignorant. You should of told her stop watching so many Disney movies lol
MammaPK
by Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 12:05 PM

I would just smile and enjoy the compliment! you rock

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 12:34 PM
2 moms liked this

I think there really is a thought out there amongst some that if you're a stepmom and you're nice to your skids or get along with them then you must be some kind of freaking saint or annomally. 

I've gotten more than a handful of those sorts of comments and I'm always a bit baffled. 

When I took my SDs to get mani/pedis before they went back to school, the technicians made MULTIPLE comments about how LUCKY the kids were to have a STEP MOM who was doing something NICE for them.  How NICE I must be do do something for the kids.  I mean they went on and on. The kids and I were all kind of mortified.  I chalked it up to a cultural thing, but man, was it uncomfortable!

It happens.  Not every SM is a monster. 

As far as the age thing, yes...I get that too.  I'm much shorter than both of my SDs and I guess I look young for my age though I could easily be their mother age wise.  I have often been asked "So are you home from college visiting your sisters?"  I take that as a HUGE freaking compliment--especially after a morning where I've inspected myself and found a new wrinkle or a new grey hair. LOL 

At 35, if someone wants to assume I'm younger, if someone wants to assume these kids are my sisters?  I want to TIP them.  A 20 at least. 

But if someone says something to the effect of  "Aren't you a nice lady, being so nice to your step daughters"??? Well, I honestly get a bit offended.  As if all SMs are fire breathing dragons making their step kids clean the grout with a toothbrush or something.

Whatevs though. People who aren't in the situation are probably just trying to be nice.  We (the girls and I) get a hoot out of it in the end.  I tell them later "Oooohhhhh....you so LUCKAH!  I no beat you in basement!"  And we laugh. 


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