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You're not really her mom, right?

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I'm 25, almost 26.  I look like i'm 15.  I get it all the time...not complaining, just saying.

So my SD wanted to go to my place of employment and take a tour.  Its a tourist location, and its historical, so I figured sure, why not.  My son is 2.5 and wouldn't do well on an hour long tour.  So I took SD and DH stayed with our son.

Because I work there, the tour guides know me.  Our tour guide referred to me, and my SD as my daughter.  (I've always referred to her in conversation as my SD, but he just called her my daughter.  She didn't mind, and I didn't see the point in announcing to everyone 'oh no...no no, she's not MY kid. '  I know my SD and I think she would take that in a negative way).

So in the middle of the tour, a woman stops me and says,

"She's not really your daughter, is she?"

I was slightly taken aback at her confidence that SD could not possibly be mine.  I mean, she looks like she could be...(until you see her mom).  I would have been 17 when she was born.  So, its definitely possible. 

I simply said, "No, he's mistaken, she's my SD.  Great kid, huh?"

 

And then she said "Oh, well I'm really surprised.  Usually stepmoms are mean!  She really seems to like you."

She was very nice, and I could tell she didn't mean it in a mean way, but i was really kind of shocked that so many people think that!  I came home and told DH about it and he wasn't surprised in the least. 

Has this ever happened to you guys? 

by on Nov. 18, 2013 at 9:02 PM
Replies (31-40):
kellynh
by Kelly on Nov. 19, 2013 at 12:37 PM

Lol... No with the skids. However, some people have refered to me as my 5 mth old Grandma. Which is totally okay as I have an old most 3yo granddaughter.

Sept-babies2
by Patriot's Fan on Nov. 19, 2013 at 12:55 PM
No. I have had more people tell me sd looks just like me. Lol we both have brown eyes and both had brown hair until i dyed mine.
pepper504
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 2:27 PM

People think that I am too young to have a DD that is 16 years old.  I look good for 40.  They usually think that I am in my mid to late 20s.  Good genes I suppose. 

I guess due to SS15 and I having similar dark coloring, people assume that he is mine.  When he was younger, a cashier kept going on and on about how he looked just like me.  He was a cute boy.  I told her that he wasn't mine, but my boyfriend's child (DH and I were only dating at that time).  She couldn't believe it.

People have thought that DD16 is my DH's.  Nope.  He and she are both ok with stating that he is not biologically her father.  She's not in therapy for it and it does not hurt her feelings.  *note total sacrasm in the last sentence.

elisesmom922
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 4:31 PM

I am 31, and only 5ft 3in, 130lbs not prego, I get the "you look young" thing all the time! Not too long ago, someone asked me if I was 19! I think my most mortifying "young" moment was when I was in line in the post office and the 17 yr old high school boy behind me hit on me and asked for my phone number... Yea, DH about died laughing.

sheramom4
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 5:06 PM

I have an 18 year old DS who I had at 17. I look young and my mom (63) looks to be I her forties. For years it was just assumed that he was my little brother. When I had my oldest DD the same thing happened. 

My favorite incident happened a couple of years ago. DS was shopping with me for his little sisters and an older woman asked him if I was his girlfriend. He turned bright purple and mumbled "that's my mom." The woman who asked was so embarrassed, I felt bad for her. But I was laughing so hard.

jaynjay408
by on Nov. 19, 2013 at 5:22 PM

Thats happened to me several times... I am 4'10" mexican and my SS is 5'6 green eyes, blond hair.. haha... i dont take offense, we both know we dont look alike.. but still sometimes it happens with MY DD and I take offense to that.... i understand she is half white.. but come on... still MY KID!

malinda74
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 6:34 PM
No random strangers comment on my step mom status. Maybe I'm doing it wrong.


Quoting whatIknownow:

A total stranger said to you, "usually stepmoms are mean?"

Not really buying that. Sorry.



Quoting lovemyfriend:



And then she said "Oh, well I'm really surprised.  Usually stepmoms are mean!  She really seems to like you."





afwife817
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 7:24 PM
Every single time I have my step daughter's I'm told how cute and well behaved my daughter's are. The girl's like to hear the compliments. Next time that happens though, I'll let them know that's not my kid (advise from this group) I'm just the caretaker who married their father:)

Quoting lovemyfriend:

I'm 25, almost 26.  I look like i'm 15.  I get it all the time...not complaining, just saying.


So my SD wanted to go to my place of employment and take a tour.  Its a tourist location, and its historical, so I figured sure, why not.  My son is 2.5 and wouldn't do well on an hour long tour.  So I took SD and DH stayed with our son.


Because I work there, the tour guides know me.  Our tour guide referred to me, and my SD as my daughter.  (I've always referred to her in conversation as my SD, but he just called her my daughter.  She didn't mind, and I didn't see the point in announcing to everyone 'oh no...no no, she's not MY kid. '  I know my SD and I think she would take that in a negative way).


So in the middle of the tour, a woman stops me and says,


"She's not really your daughter, is she?"


I was slightly taken aback at her confidence that SD could not possibly be mine.  I mean, she looks like she could be...(until you see her mom).  I would have been 17 when she was born.  So, its definitely possible. 


I simply said, "No, he's mistaken, she's my SD.  Great kid, huh?"


 


And then she said "Oh, well I'm really surprised.  Usually stepmoms are mean!  She really seems to like you."


She was very nice, and I could tell she didn't mean it in a mean way, but i was really kind of shocked that so many people think that!  I came home and told DH about it and he wasn't surprised in the least. 


Has this ever happened to you guys? 

lovemyfriend
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 7:32 PM

 I've thought a lot about that idea, correcting someone that i'm not her mom, but my sd will take it as if "oh no, she's not good enough to be my biological daughter!".  KWIM?  Thats what works for us, and to each their own.  I never claim to be her biomom though, and if it gets to the point where its more than just one sentence, I don't try to act like I'm her mom.  The biggest thing for me with what this lady said was how surprised she was that me, the SM, would take my SD somewhere without her dad, and enjoy myself.  And even more, that my SD seemed to really like me.  It was like she thinks all step parents are evil and hate their SKs.  I wasn't offended, because she was perfectly nice, and i think maybe a little embarrassed, but I just really didn't realize how many people actually think that about step parents.  Ah well.


Quoting afwife817:

Every single time I have my step daughter's I'm told how cute and well behaved my daughter's are. The girl's like to hear the compliments. Next time that happens though, I'll let them know that's not my kid (advise from this group) I'm just the caretaker who married their father:)

Quoting lovemyfriend:

I'm 25, almost 26.  I look like i'm 15.  I get it all the time...not complaining, just saying.


So my SD wanted to go to my place of employment and take a tour.  Its a tourist location, and its historical, so I figured sure, why not.  My son is 2.5 and wouldn't do well on an hour long tour.  So I took SD and DH stayed with our son.


Because I work there, the tour guides know me.  Our tour guide referred to me, and my SD as my daughter.  (I've always referred to her in conversation as my SD, but he just called her my daughter.  She didn't mind, and I didn't see the point in announcing to everyone 'oh no...no no, she's not MY kid. '  I know my SD and I think she would take that in a negative way).


So in the middle of the tour, a woman stops me and says,


"She's not really your daughter, is she?"


I was slightly taken aback at her confidence that SD could not possibly be mine.  I mean, she looks like she could be...(until you see her mom).  I would have been 17 when she was born.  So, its definitely possible. 


I simply said, "No, he's mistaken, she's my SD.  Great kid, huh?"


 


And then she said "Oh, well I'm really surprised.  Usually stepmoms are mean!  She really seems to like you."


She was very nice, and I could tell she didn't mean it in a mean way, but i was really kind of shocked that so many people think that!  I came home and told DH about it and he wasn't surprised in the least. 


Has this ever happened to you guys? 


 

afwife817
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 7:41 PM
I have my SD's with me alot of the time when we have them, which is 50% of the time. I used to correct ppl the first 6 months or so then I figured the girl's will correct it if they're bothered by it. They introduce me as SM and mom sometimes, also by my first name. They know they can call me whatever they're most comfortable with. That's what matters not me. And that's why it works. I always put them first, it's the least I can do....

Quoting lovemyfriend:

 I've thought a lot about that idea, correcting someone that i'm not her mom, but my sd will take it as if "oh no, she's not good enough to be my biological daughter!".  KWIM?  Thats what works for us, and to each their own.  I never claim to be her biomom though, and if it gets to the point where its more than just one sentence, I don't try to act like I'm her mom.  The biggest thing for me with what this lady said was how surprised she was that me, the SM, would take my SD somewhere without her dad, and enjoy myself.  And even more, that my SD seemed to really like me.  It was like she thinks all step parents are evil and hate their SKs.  I wasn't offended, because she was perfectly nice, and i think maybe a little embarrassed, but I just really didn't realize how many people actually think that about step parents.  Ah well.




Quoting afwife817:

Every single time I have my step daughter's I'm told how cute and well behaved my daughter's are. The girl's like to hear the compliments. Next time that happens though, I'll let them know that's not my kid (advise from this group) I'm just the caretaker who married their father:)


Quoting lovemyfriend:


I'm 25, almost 26.  I look like i'm 15.  I get it all the time...not complaining, just saying.



So my SD wanted to go to my place of employment and take a tour.  Its a tourist location, and its historical, so I figured sure, why not.  My son is 2.5 and wouldn't do well on an hour long tour.  So I took SD and DH stayed with our son.



Because I work there, the tour guides know me.  Our tour guide referred to me, and my SD as my daughter.  (I've always referred to her in conversation as my SD, but he just called her my daughter.  She didn't mind, and I didn't see the point in announcing to everyone 'oh no...no no, she's not MY kid. '  I know my SD and I think she would take that in a negative way).



So in the middle of the tour, a woman stops me and says,



"She's not really your daughter, is she?"



I was slightly taken aback at her confidence that SD could not possibly be mine.  I mean, she looks like she could be...(until you see her mom).  I would have been 17 when she was born.  So, its definitely possible. 



I simply said, "No, he's mistaken, she's my SD.  Great kid, huh?"



 



And then she said "Oh, well I'm really surprised.  Usually stepmoms are mean!  She really seems to like you."



She was very nice, and I could tell she didn't mean it in a mean way, but i was really kind of shocked that so many people think that!  I came home and told DH about it and he wasn't surprised in the least. 



Has this ever happened to you guys? 




 

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