Here are some things I think being a real parent entails:
When you make that split decision on whether or not your child needs a course of antibiotics or you decide that you are going to let them tough it out without them to build up their immunity and go without medical treatment.
When the child comes home from school and tells you all about how kids are giving each other rainbows on the boys privates. It's the very personal talk with your own ideas thrown in on how to deal with that issue.
The child is about to have surgery, the doctor has 2 different methods he can explore and presents them to you and you have the absolute authority to make the choice you feel is best.
When you have had your child baptised Catholic since birth and practised the catholic religion and then the child tells you they want to persue other means of spirituality and the talk that ensues after that.
It's when you have decided that for YOUR child, you will start when he/she is 14 learning how to drive in the pasture even before the learners permit is allowed because you want them to have all the driving experience possible before you let them on the real roads at 15. OR.....that you have decided that you would rather wait the child to only take their exam at 16 because that is what you feel is necessary. But neverthe less, it is up to you and your personal decision.
It's whether to allow the girl to start off wearing a tampon instead of a pad because it is your choice to offer it.
Giving the boy a condom at 14 because you think he needs it and it is your choice to give it to him.
To talk about sexuality, with your own spin on it. How you feel about same sex....sex before marriage.....or preaching abstinence.
I of course could go on.
If none of these things listed are something you will be able to completely control, you are NOT a parent. You are a caretaker at best.
Caretakers: cleaners, cookers, drivers, bathers, etc.
While all parents do the caretaking thing, it is only some SM's who do not understand that those things ALONE do not make you a parent. They make you a caretaker. A SM. A dad's wife.
Now, alot of SM's might say that they can and WILL do all of these things. And I think, for a CSM, with a BM displaced for some reason probably will have to.
But for those SM's who have a BM actively involved and STILL want to do these things to label themselves a parent? I think that is where things get screwy.
Parenting and caretaking are really 2 different things.
Parenting means molding a human to adulthood. Caretaking means you are just keeping someone's basic needs going.