Perhaps the final update on SD16 in the mental hospital
SD16 is due to discharged on Friday. Quite honestly, I don't think she is much better, but she is medicated to the teeth and she is acting better, so she gets out. In September, after yet another session where SD refused to participate, the decision was made for her to go live with MIL. This will give her a fresh start of sorts at a new school and let her live in a house that has no other children to compete with for attention. It also gets her away from the evil stepmother. In one of the last sessions, SD did reveal that I was the only person who really knew her and who she couldn't lie to. This makes her uncomfortable and that's why she doesn't like me.She admitted that it is easy to lie to DH and MIL aand they don't really know her, nor does anyone else. Once she was not coming back to our home, SD became completely compliant with all therapy. DH then asked that I not participate on anything. He feels that it is too damaging to our relationship. Also, MIL hates me and she doesn't want me to have any contact. The therapist was not happy.
We did participate in one session in the last two months where SD discussed some of the abuse at her mom's house. DH wanted to ask about it and I was present to support him, but didn't really participate. SD was the exact same personality she was when she was admitted. The lack of progress really concerns me, but I am told it is not my problem. DH and MIL have decided that the problem is that SD has been made to talk about these upsetting things and that is why she is not making progress. If she would just keep it all in and forget it, she could move on and live a happy life. So...yeah...wth. That should work really well with a bipolar teen, doncha think?
DH has been having trouble dealing with SD not coming back to live here, combined with her bipolar diagnosis. He does not accept the diagnosis. He blames me for her not being able to live here. He has a lot HE has to work through. I am at peace with what I have done and have no regrets.
My kids are healing and getting past all of this. Once SD's living situation was worked out, the uncertainty in their lives was settled. DD is flourishing. She has come back to life. I am glad to see the cloud lifted from her life. DS is having issues, but with his Aspergers, things are always more complicated.
SD will have in home therapeutic services. I am hoping some of these will be used for our family. DH wants her to be included in holidays and vacations. Right now, that isn't possible. She has had extensive therapy - we have had none and we all have things we need to work out with her.
So that's where we are. Not sure if I am still a SM. Honestly not very sure if I will even see her more than once or twice a year.