Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Covering our bases legally

Posted by on Nov. 23, 2013 at 7:10 PM
  • 9 Replies
My dh has yet to go to court with his ex but it looks as if that might change. BM has a history of harassing dh with texts and phone calls. Recently he got her to agree to using a private email account instead. It's been going pretty well but he needs some advice and I'm not sure what to tell him.

BM sent two different emails this week but both were attached, as it were, to threads that had nothing to do with the original, resolved subject so they weren't seen right away. Neither was very important...one was asking if bm could p/u sd on our time and the other was asking if sd could stay additional days at our house. He spoke to sd about both of these issues already...her bm texted her about staying here so sd asked us directly and she said she has an activity she needs to attend so we told her we would take her...problem solved.

This is the question: Should he send bm an email saying something to the effect of "I didn't see your emails because they were buried in old messages. In the future we should send new message with new subject lines"? or should he just forget about it? Which would look better if he has to go to court? Which would you rather hear from your ex? Remember, they don't get along at all. TIA
by on Nov. 23, 2013 at 7:10 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Nov. 23, 2013 at 10:06 PM
1 mom liked this

We're having problems with that. I think there's a way to not make them come in trees.  But I haven't changed it.  I have asked coworkers not to do that because I have missed their replies in big chains.

joeynwillsmom
by Member on Nov. 23, 2013 at 10:11 PM
1 mom liked this
This is why we use Our Family Wizard, it costs money, but it is SO worth it. Also, you can't really delete things to cover your tracks, all communication made, deleted or not is available for $20 and a subpoena and is fully admissible in court.
As far as your problem, yes, I'd tell her please send all new issues in a new email and title them accordingly.
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Nov. 23, 2013 at 10:43 PM
2 moms liked this
I like when my ex doesn't knit pick me. Some people are not real email savy. I don't know everything - I hit reply all the other day and sent an idiotic response to 500 employees. Shit happens. But it was embarrassing.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
chasinrainbows
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2013 at 1:42 AM

 I use a yahoo email and I do not have this issue. My ex usually picks an old email to message with and it never has anything to do with the new message. I know it's just him being lazy, lol. I always get the messages though. 

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Nov. 24, 2013 at 8:37 AM
2 moms liked this



Quoting BluDog:


This is the question: Should he send bm an email saying something to the effect of "I didn't see your emails because they were buried in old messages. In the future we should send new message with new subject lines"? or should he just forget about it? Which would look better if he has to go to court? Which would you rather hear from your ex? Remember, they don't get along at all. TIA


No. That email will not be received well and will acomplish nothing but to further the antagonism between him and her. It is picky and inflammatory.

If for some reason he ends up in court and this comes up, he can explain the subject line thing to the judge at that time.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Nov. 24, 2013 at 8:41 AM
1 mom liked this

Is his objective to get her to change the subject line so he doesn't miss messages going forward, or to document for  a hypothetical future court activity that he has an excuse to miss the messages?

If his objective is to get her to start changing the subject line, I would approach it as you might with a coworker.

"oh sorry I almost missed this because of the subject line" --- and stop there. Stop before the "lets do this from now on." No one wants to be told what to do, and trying to tell a coworker (peer) what to do is going to piss them off and have the opposite result from what you're looking for.

zannahdeux
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2013 at 1:04 PM

Sounds like they are communicating just fine why do you need to document anything?

BluDog
by Member on Nov. 24, 2013 at 2:11 PM



Quoting whatIknownow:



Quoting BluDog:


This is the question: Should he send bm an email saying something to the effect of "I didn't see your emails because they were buried in old messages. In the future we should send new message with new subject lines"? or should he just forget about it? Which would look better if he has to go to court? Which would you rather hear from your ex? Remember, they don't get along at all. TIA


No. That email will not be received well and will acomplish nothing but to further the antagonism between him and her. It is picky and inflammatory.

If for some reason he ends up in court and this comes up, he can explain the subject line thing to the judge at that time.


Good point.

BluDog
by Member on Nov. 24, 2013 at 2:16 PM



Quoting zannahdeux:

Sounds like they are communicating just fine why do you need to document anything?


Unfortunately they don't communicate fine but it's getting better now that they are using email. We weren't sure if DH would look as if he is blowing her off but I agree with whatiknownow: I think it's something that can easily be explained to a judge or bm, if it even comes up at all.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured