Hi ladies! It's been a really long time since I've been on CM, but I need some help and I've always found wonderful support here.
Background: DH and I have been together almost 10 yrs, married 8, and BM has been completely out of the picture for over 6 yrs. SD will be 16 in a few weeks, and we have 2 more daughters together, almost 8 & 3.5
when SD was little, she was VERY good at manipulating DH and BM to play them off each other, get things her way, and generally create a drama that she seemed to thrive on-definitely her mother's daughter....anyway, DH finally realized what SD was up to, and put his foot down; actually acting like a parent and not her BFF.
Lately, I'm noticing that SD goes out of her way to "tattle" on me-I'll say something flippant, like yesterday I made a snide remark about how we are in the process of moving, and DH has been complaining about how he's been doing all of the hard stuff, but it's ok for me to have had to handle all the stress of actually buying the house, working a full-time job, raising the kids and setting up the new house....
so what does DH say this am when I argued that my doing all of ^^^this should count for something? "Oh, yeah, I HEARD THAT WAS YOUR NEW EXCUSE..." Totally turning my words (which were taken out of context) around on me, and not caring that he has no knowledge of the conversation that took place when I made the comment.
or yesterday when I took SD to have her hair done for her winter formal-the lady that did her hair told me at the end of the appointment that her card reader was down and did I have cash. I didn't, but SD piped up that DH had given her an "emergency $100", so we went ahead and used that-hair, a scarf, and earrings + tip was $60. DH made some snarky comment about how I "took" HIS $$$ and blew it on crap. Which, other than asking if she used the $$$, he wouldn't even care how it was spent, so I can assume (based on his attitude lately) that he asked what it was spent on, SD told him, and when she discovered that he didn't like it, she continued to egg on his displeasure...mind you, she has no problem "letting" me spend a small fortune on her, but then kisses up to DH and blames me when she sees opportunity.
How the hell do I deal with this?