Today we ran into an issue with visitation, and DH asked SD what she wanted to do about it.
The CO says that exchanges take place at 5pm, so we had made plans on Friday under the expectation that BM would be picking SD up at 5pm. Well, today BM emailed DH and said she wanted to pick SD up at 3pm and asked if that was something they could work out.
DH asked SD what she wanted to do, if she wanted to go with BM at 3pm or if she wanted to stick with her plans and go with BM at 5pm. SD chose to go with BM at 5pm so that she could still do what she had already planned for Friday.
Friday is opening day of this super huge holiday bazaar. SD has saved up some money and wanted to get her siblings Christmas presents (really, she is SUCH a sweet person). And SD and I had made plans with MIL to go to the holiday bazaar together, do some shopping, have a girls lunch, and just hang out that day. If you've followed some of my previous posts regarding SD, this isn't something she often gets to do due to her school and therapy requirements.
Anyways, SD said that she definitely wants to wait until 5pm to go with BM, but she asked that we not tell BM that she made the decision because she doesn't want BM mad at her. DH replied to BM and said, "Unfortunately SD already has plans that day and won't be available until 5pm."
SD seemed to really enjoy the ability to make that decision on her own and that we were supportive of it.
We try REALLY hard not to schedule anything on BM's weekends. And we always tell SD to talk to BM about things that happen at school or with friends during BM's time. Those are obviously BM's decisions to make. While BM lives in town, she usually takes 75% of her visitation out of town at her BM's house so anything that may be going on with SD's friends or at SD's school are kinda out of the question when they leave town. But, SD is 13, and is really wanting to be able to do more with her friends and with her youth group.
Should DH discuss that idea with BM? I mean, BM isn't involved with school or youth group or with SD's friends, but DH tries to share as much information as possible with BM to keep her informed. It would just be nice if BM made an effort to let SD participate on her weekends that they stay in town.