Because I am so happy and proud!
My stepdaughter is 10 years old and I've been in her life for the last 4 years. When I met her, her hair was hardly ever brushed let alone styled. I was never very good at doing hair but had always planned on becoming the mom who could do amazing hair when/if I ever had a daughter, so I quickly taught myself some cool styles to give her and, not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty talented now. We have 50/50 custody and I do her hair everyday she's with us.
My stepdaughter has a little sister at her other house and has told me how she does her hair now that she is old enough to sit still. She has described some of the styles she does but I have never seen any.
Well today my niece was over at our house and needed her hair done. My stepdaughter asked if she could do it and of course I said yes. So she sat her cousin down in front of her and proceeded to give her the cutest little style! She parted her hair all the way down the middle and gave her two little low pigtails that she topsy tailed (without even using the topsy tail)! It was so awesome watching her do something I taught her without actually "teaching" her. Sure, she's learned all kinds of things from me that I have actually instructed her on how to do, but this was different. Everything from how she brushed her hair to how she made sure the two pigtails were even to her tone of voice when giving instructions to my niece were exactly how I do it with her. She just learned how to do it all based on my actions, not my instructions. I started balling because I had not yet witnessed anything like this in my mothering career yet. Just knowing that I taught her a life skill like this...and without even teaching her...ugh! My heart just melted. I'm one proud mama!
ETA: To everyone who has said nice things to me, Thank you! It really was a wonderful experience!
To everyone else, you can all be truly horrible and I hope you can sleep well at night after spending the day putting people down over the internet. You must not be very happy in your own lives if you can take a simple joy of motherhood I was trying to share and turn it into something to attack me over. It really is no sweat off my back though and I could care less what you think about me. I know how important I am to my stepdaughter and the role I play in her life. I do not need any of you to validate that for me nor do I need to explain my relationship with her to any of you.
No, I do not have any other children because I unfortunately have fertility issues and have not had a viable pregnancy the few times I have been able to get pregnant. But thanks for reminding me that I am not really a mother since I have not pushed a human out of my vagina just yet. I'm working on making that happen but if it never happens, I'll be fine because I have a family who loves me. And yes, that family only consists of my stepdaughter and husband and I cherish both of them with every fiber in my being.
As far as my "mothering career' goes...it was a creative play on words to highlight the last four years of my life. Would you have prefered my "tenure as a parent" or perhaps "years spent parenting"?
And no where did I say that being able to style hair was a NECESSARY life skill...I just said it was a life skill because it is a skill she can use throughout her life. Clearly she is already putting that skill to use.
I also never said that I am better than anyone who cannot do hair. If you don't style your daughters' hair, then that is a choice you made and good for you. I have very curly hair and my mom would brush it into an afro everyday and send me off to school. It was horrible and I vowed to never do that to any daughter of mine. My stepdaughter also has curly hair, one of the reasons her mother does not do anything with it, and she experiences the same problems of poofiness that plagued me as a child. Fortunately she is capable of doing her own hair now for the mornings I am not available to style it. She can also bathe herself now for those of you wondering.
I'm so happy that there is a place where I can go to share the joys of motherhood and get such a positive response from everyone...wait. that didn't happen and perhaps no place exists for that. Too bad, Cafemom, because all I wanted to do was talk about a joyous experience with people who can relate.
ETA2: this is ONE example of the many many things I do for her. No where did I say that doing her hair proves that I'm a mom. I do a whole lot more to prove that but as I said before, I don't need to justify my relationship with my stepdaughter to any of you. I was just wanting to talk about one tiny aspect of my life with my stepdaughter and highlight a moment I felt proud of her. If you are offended by my completely inoffensive post, then perhaps you need to work out your feelings of parenthood a bit further with yourself and possibly a licensed physician. If reading about someone else's parenting experience causes you to feel attacked for not having the same experiences, then you have issues.