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I can't stop crying! ETA2

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Because I am so happy and proud!


My stepdaughter is 10 years old and I've been in her life for the last 4 years. When I met her, her hair was hardly ever brushed let alone styled. I was never very good at doing hair but had always planned on becoming the mom who could do amazing hair when/if I ever had a daughter, so I quickly taught myself some cool styles to give her and, not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty talented now. We have 50/50 custody and I do her hair everyday she's with us.


My stepdaughter has a little sister at her other house and has told me how she does her hair now that she is old enough to sit still. She has described some of the styles she does but I have never seen any.


Well today my niece was over at our house and needed her hair done. My stepdaughter asked if she could do it and of course I said yes. So she sat her cousin down in front of her and proceeded to give her the cutest little style! She parted her hair all the way down the middle and gave her two little low pigtails that she topsy tailed (without even using the topsy tail)! It was so awesome watching her do something I taught her without actually "teaching" her. Sure, she's learned all kinds of things from me that I have actually instructed her on how to do, but this was different. Everything from how she brushed her hair to how she made sure the two pigtails were even to her tone of voice when giving instructions to my niece were exactly how I do it with her. She just learned how to do it all based on my actions, not my instructions. I started balling because I had not yet witnessed anything like this in my mothering career yet. Just knowing that I taught her a life skill like this...and without even teaching her...ugh! My heart just melted. I'm one proud mama!


ETA: To everyone who has said nice things to me, Thank you! It really was a wonderful experience!


To everyone else, you can all be truly horrible and I hope you can sleep well at night after spending the day putting people down over the internet. You must not be very happy in your own lives if you can take a simple joy of motherhood I was trying to share and turn it into something to attack me over. It really is no sweat off my back though and I could care less what you think about me. I know how important I am to my stepdaughter and the role I play in her life. I do not need any of you to validate that for me nor do I need to explain my relationship with her to any of you. 


No, I do not have any other children because I unfortunately have fertility issues and have not had a viable pregnancy the few times I have been able to get pregnant. But thanks for reminding me that I am not really a mother since I have not pushed a human out of my vagina just yet. I'm working on making that happen but if it never happens, I'll be fine because I have a family who loves me. And yes, that family only consists of my stepdaughter and husband and I cherish both of them with every fiber in my being.


As far as my "mothering career' goes...it was a creative play on words to highlight the last four years of my life. Would you have prefered my "tenure as a parent" or perhaps "years spent parenting"?


And no where did I say that being able to style hair was a NECESSARY life skill...I just said it was a life skill because it is a skill she can use throughout her life. Clearly she is already putting that skill to use.


I also never said that I am better than anyone who cannot do hair. If you don't style your daughters' hair, then that is a choice you made and good for you. I have very curly hair and my mom would brush it into an afro everyday and send me off to school. It was horrible and I vowed to never do that to any daughter of mine. My stepdaughter also has curly hair, one of the reasons her mother does not do anything with it, and she experiences the same problems of poofiness that plagued me as a child. Fortunately she is capable of doing her own hair now for the mornings I am not available to style it. She can also bathe herself now for those of you wondering.


I'm so happy that there is a place where I can go to share the joys of motherhood and get such a positive response from everyone...wait. that didn't happen and perhaps no place exists for that. Too bad, Cafemom, because all I wanted to do was talk about a joyous experience with people who can relate.



ETA2: this is ONE example of the many many things I do for her. No where did I say that doing her hair proves that I'm a mom. I do a whole lot more to prove that but as I said before, I don't need to justify my relationship with my stepdaughter to any of you. I was just wanting to talk about one tiny aspect of my life with my stepdaughter and highlight a moment I felt proud of her. If you are offended by my completely inoffensive post, then perhaps you need to work out your feelings of parenthood a bit further with yourself and possibly a licensed physician. If reading about someone else's parenting experience causes you to feel attacked for not having the same experiences, then you have issues.
by on Dec. 2, 2013 at 12:32 AM
Replies (11-20):
baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 8:49 AM
6 moms liked this

Making bad ass pig tails = life skills. Ok.

daddysgf
by and that's all on Dec. 2, 2013 at 8:50 AM
4 moms liked this

Maybe I'm a cranky bitch but... doing hair is not a life skill.

daddysgf
by and that's all on Dec. 2, 2013 at 8:50 AM
3 moms liked this

OK good, I'm not the only one who thought that LOL

Quoting baparrot2:

Making bad ass pig tails = life skills. Ok.


packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Dec. 2, 2013 at 8:58 AM
1 mom liked this



Quoting reesesami:

My husband can brush her hair; I was referring to her mother not brushing her hair or styling it. She would come over to our house directly from her mother's house without having been bathed for multiple days with we hair smelling like cigarette smoke and all matted. I don't like to talks shit about her mother so forgive me for not making myself more clear.
I wasn't brushing or styling my 10 year old's hair at that age.  I also didn't bathe her at that age.  I actually stopped doing that around age 6 or 7.   I also don't have a mothering career and would think a sm who included my children in her "mother career" was off her rocker.  
amantonacci
by Gold Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 9:16 AM
I'm right along with you lady's! My poor dd has to deal with just a plain ponytail... She'll be a messed up adult for it I'm sure


Quoting daddysgf:

OK good, I'm not the only one who thought that LOL

Quoting baparrot2:

Making bad ass pig tails = life skills. Ok.



whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 9:29 AM
1 mom liked this


I never "styled" my daughter's hair. What's the big deal about a mother not styling her daughter's hair?Some of us are just not into that. I dont' think my daughter was embarrassed.

You have a case of "superior SMitis." You think the mother should live up to your standards. Get over yourself. People who have no kids have no business judging mothers. When you become a mother, then you can judge.

Quoting reesesami:

My husband can brush her hair; I was referring to her mother not brushing her hair or styling it. She would come over to our house directly from her mother's house without having been bathed for multiple days with we hair smelling like cigarette smoke and all matted. I don't like to talks shit about her mother so forgive me for not making myself more clear.

I'm glad her little sister doesn't have to live with the embarrassment of not having her hair properly taken care of since my stepdaughter is capable of doing it for her.


Quoting whatIknownow:

LOL this is funny.

Your mothering career. How many kids do you have?

Why did you date a man who couldnt' comb his daughter's hair? I think I would have run.




LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Dec. 2, 2013 at 9:38 AM
1 mom liked this

I fail at life - I cannot french braid.  Quick someone fetch me the Scarlet "F."

Quoting amantonacci:

I'm right along with you lady's! My poor dd has to deal with just a plain ponytail... She'll be a messed up adult for it I'm sure


Quoting daddysgf:

OK good, I'm not the only one who thought that LOL

Quoting baparrot2:

Making bad ass pig tails = life skills. Ok.




amantonacci
by Gold Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 9:42 AM
I don't know how to regular braid hair. My dd's preschool teacher does her hair for me


Quoting LyndaLoo78:

I fail at life - I cannot french braid.  Quick someone fetch me the Scarlet "F."

Quoting amantonacci:

I'm right along with you lady's! My poor dd has to deal with just a plain ponytail... She'll be a messed up adult for it I'm sure





Quoting daddysgf:

OK good, I'm not the only one who thought that LOL

Quoting baparrot2:

Making bad ass pig tails = life skills. Ok.






whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 9:45 AM


You guys have sucky mothering careers. You need a SM to come along and save your kids.

Quoting amantonacci:

I don't know how to regular braid hair. My dd's preschool teacher does her hair for me


Quoting LyndaLoo78:

I fail at life - I cannot french braid.  Quick someone fetch me the Scarlet "F."

Quoting amantonacci:

I'm right along with you lady's! My poor dd has to deal with just a plain ponytail... She'll be a messed up adult for it I'm sure





Quoting daddysgf:

OK good, I'm not the only one who thought that LOL

Quoting baparrot2:

Making bad ass pig tails = life skills. Ok.








amantonacci
by Gold Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 9:48 AM
Well I am thinking I'll hire the preschool teacher to fill the position


Quoting whatIknownow:


You guys have sucky mothering careers. You need a SM to come along and save your kids.


Quoting amantonacci:

I don't know how to regular braid hair. My dd's preschool teacher does her hair for me





Quoting LyndaLoo78:

I fail at life - I cannot french braid.  Quick someone fetch me the Scarlet "F."

Quoting amantonacci:

I'm right along with you lady's! My poor dd has to deal with just a plain ponytail... She'll be a messed up adult for it I'm sure








Quoting daddysgf:

OK good, I'm not the only one who thought that LOL

Quoting baparrot2:

Making bad ass pig tails = life skills. Ok.












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