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I can't stop crying! ETA2

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Because I am so happy and proud!


My stepdaughter is 10 years old and I've been in her life for the last 4 years. When I met her, her hair was hardly ever brushed let alone styled. I was never very good at doing hair but had always planned on becoming the mom who could do amazing hair when/if I ever had a daughter, so I quickly taught myself some cool styles to give her and, not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty talented now. We have 50/50 custody and I do her hair everyday she's with us.


My stepdaughter has a little sister at her other house and has told me how she does her hair now that she is old enough to sit still. She has described some of the styles she does but I have never seen any.


Well today my niece was over at our house and needed her hair done. My stepdaughter asked if she could do it and of course I said yes. So she sat her cousin down in front of her and proceeded to give her the cutest little style! She parted her hair all the way down the middle and gave her two little low pigtails that she topsy tailed (without even using the topsy tail)! It was so awesome watching her do something I taught her without actually "teaching" her. Sure, she's learned all kinds of things from me that I have actually instructed her on how to do, but this was different. Everything from how she brushed her hair to how she made sure the two pigtails were even to her tone of voice when giving instructions to my niece were exactly how I do it with her. She just learned how to do it all based on my actions, not my instructions. I started balling because I had not yet witnessed anything like this in my mothering career yet. Just knowing that I taught her a life skill like this...and without even teaching her...ugh! My heart just melted. I'm one proud mama!


ETA: To everyone who has said nice things to me, Thank you! It really was a wonderful experience!


To everyone else, you can all be truly horrible and I hope you can sleep well at night after spending the day putting people down over the internet. You must not be very happy in your own lives if you can take a simple joy of motherhood I was trying to share and turn it into something to attack me over. It really is no sweat off my back though and I could care less what you think about me. I know how important I am to my stepdaughter and the role I play in her life. I do not need any of you to validate that for me nor do I need to explain my relationship with her to any of you. 


No, I do not have any other children because I unfortunately have fertility issues and have not had a viable pregnancy the few times I have been able to get pregnant. But thanks for reminding me that I am not really a mother since I have not pushed a human out of my vagina just yet. I'm working on making that happen but if it never happens, I'll be fine because I have a family who loves me. And yes, that family only consists of my stepdaughter and husband and I cherish both of them with every fiber in my being.


As far as my "mothering career' goes...it was a creative play on words to highlight the last four years of my life. Would you have prefered my "tenure as a parent" or perhaps "years spent parenting"?


And no where did I say that being able to style hair was a NECESSARY life skill...I just said it was a life skill because it is a skill she can use throughout her life. Clearly she is already putting that skill to use.


I also never said that I am better than anyone who cannot do hair. If you don't style your daughters' hair, then that is a choice you made and good for you. I have very curly hair and my mom would brush it into an afro everyday and send me off to school. It was horrible and I vowed to never do that to any daughter of mine. My stepdaughter also has curly hair, one of the reasons her mother does not do anything with it, and she experiences the same problems of poofiness that plagued me as a child. Fortunately she is capable of doing her own hair now for the mornings I am not available to style it. She can also bathe herself now for those of you wondering.


I'm so happy that there is a place where I can go to share the joys of motherhood and get such a positive response from everyone...wait. that didn't happen and perhaps no place exists for that. Too bad, Cafemom, because all I wanted to do was talk about a joyous experience with people who can relate.



ETA2: this is ONE example of the many many things I do for her. No where did I say that doing her hair proves that I'm a mom. I do a whole lot more to prove that but as I said before, I don't need to justify my relationship with my stepdaughter to any of you. I was just wanting to talk about one tiny aspect of my life with my stepdaughter and highlight a moment I felt proud of her. If you are offended by my completely inoffensive post, then perhaps you need to work out your feelings of parenthood a bit further with yourself and possibly a licensed physician. If reading about someone else's parenting experience causes you to feel attacked for not having the same experiences, then you have issues.
by on Dec. 2, 2013 at 12:32 AM
Replies (41-50):
minimoo
by Gold Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 11:06 AM
2 moms liked this
Maybe you can put a request in. In my kids'school, you can't request teachers by name, but by personality. You could totally say "yeah, so it is imperative dd's kindy teacher is a bad ass pigtailer."

Quoting amantonacci: I know thank goodness! I'll have start sucking up to the kindergarten teachers so she will be taken care of next year



Quoting minimoo: Good thing she's there to include your dd in her mothering career. Otherwise, your dd would be sol.





Quoting amantonacci: I don't know how to regular braid hair. My dd's preschool teacher does her hair for me








Quoting LyndaLoo78:

I fail at life - I cannot french braid.  Quick someone fetch me the Scarlet "F."

Quoting amantonacci:

I'm right along with you lady's! My poor dd has to deal with just a plain ponytail... She'll be a messed up adult for it I'm sure














Quoting daddysgf:

OK good, I'm not the only one who thought that LOL

Quoting baparrot2:

Making bad ass pig tails = life skills. Ok.









grownsexy
by Bronze Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 11:07 AM
4 moms liked this

Some people are so silly. Why does it matter if the dad does her hair are not.  Someone posted in another forum that spankings make kids violent are mentally ill. I beg to differ. I think that people that are jealous of the step-parent's involvement in their child's lives are petty thinking people that make kids violent. Why can't someone else love the kid besides the daddy. This is a messed up world we lived in with some messed up people. If you have a problem with another woman being involved in your child's life then we have to make better choices.

If someone stylyed my child's hair I would be happy. Good for you mama your sd learned something from you. I am happy that you loved her enough to help her with her appearance. Just because step mom stepped up don't count daddy out.

LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Dec. 2, 2013 at 11:09 AM

I think it is cute also.  

What is the salary of this mothering career?  How do I go about obtaining direct deposit - cause shit - someone owes me 8 years of back pay!?!  o.O

Quoting whatIknownow:

No, I think it's adorable that this SM enjoys fixing her SD's hair.

It's the mothering career and the helpless incompetent husband that I'm laughing at.

Quoting AtillaTheHun: That's awesome! I like doing my SD's hair too. It's part if our time together.

Too bad that the usual bitches have to turn a positive thing into something so negative because they don't want a SM to feel that she did something right.



minimoo
by Gold Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 11:12 AM
Salary for mothering career... lots of love. You actually pay to be a mom.

Although, sometimes you get a tax return.

Quoting LyndaLoo78:

I think it is cute also.  

What is the salary of this mothering career?  How do I go about obtaining direct deposit - cause shit - someone owes me 8 years of back pay!?!  o.O

Quoting whatIknownow:

No, I think it's adorable that this SM enjoys fixing her SD's hair.

It's the mothering career and the helpless incompetent husband that I'm laughing at.

Quoting AtillaTheHun: That's awesome! I like doing my SD's hair too. It's part if our time together.



Too bad that the usual bitches have to turn a positive thing into something so negative because they don't want a SM to feel that she did something right.



pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 11:20 AM

So with a Mommy Career comes a Mommy Salary:

According to Salary.com, you can. Each year over the past decade, the company conducts its Mom Salary Survey that takes into consideration the market value of services provided by mothers. This includes the following job descriptions: Day Care Center Teacher, CEO, Psychologist, Cook, Housekeeper, Laundry Machine Operator, Computer Operator I, Facilities Manager, Janitor and Van Driver. Mom’s compensation has declined in 2011. Stay-at-home moms earn a base salary of $36,968 plus $78,464 overtime pay to total $115,432, down from$117, 856 in 2010. Moms working outside the home earn, in addition to their external compensation, a base salary of $39,763 plus $23,709  in overtime, totaling $63,472. Their income dropped from $71,680 in 2010.

LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Dec. 2, 2013 at 11:22 AM
1 mom liked this

Pretty sure the electric company is not going to let me hug it out with them.....LMAO

Quoting minimoo: Salary for mothering career... lots of love. You actually pay to be a mom.

Although, sometimes you get a tax return.

Quoting LyndaLoo78:

I think it is cute also.  

What is the salary of this mothering career?  How do I go about obtaining direct deposit - cause shit - someone owes me 8 years of back pay!?!  o.O

Quoting whatIknownow:

No, I think it's adorable that this SM enjoys fixing her SD's hair.

It's the mothering career and the helpless incompetent husband that I'm laughing at.

Quoting AtillaTheHun: That's awesome! I like doing my SD's hair too. It's part if our time together.



Too bad that the usual bitches have to turn a positive thing into something so negative because they don't want a SM to feel that she did something right.




minimoo
by Gold Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 11:24 AM
Well damn. I need to request some back pay!

Quoting pdxmum:

So with a Mommy Career comes a Mommy Salary:

According to Salary.com, you can. Each year over the past decade, the company conducts its Mom Salary Survey
that takes into consideration the market value of services provided by
mothers. This includes the following job descriptions: Day Care Center
Teacher, CEO, Psychologist, Cook, Housekeeper, Laundry Machine Operator,
Computer Operator I, Facilities Manager, Janitor and Van Driver. Mom’s
compensation has declined in 2011. Stay-at-home moms earn a base salary
of $36,968 plus $78,464 overtime pay to total $115,432, down from$117,
856 in 2010. Moms working outside the home earn, in addition to their
external compensation, a base salary of $39,763 plus $23,709  in
overtime, totaling $63,472. Their income dropped from $71,680 in 2010.

LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Dec. 2, 2013 at 11:27 AM

Pretty sure the guy who pumps my gas would really, really like it if I would hug it out with him...*shudders....feels unclean....dry heaves*

Quoting minimoo: Salary for mothering career... lots of love. You actually pay to be a mom.

Although, sometimes you get a tax return.

Quoting LyndaLoo78:

I think it is cute also.  

What is the salary of this mothering career?  How do I go about obtaining direct deposit - cause shit - someone owes me 8 years of back pay!?!  o.O

Quoting whatIknownow:

No, I think it's adorable that this SM enjoys fixing her SD's hair.

It's the mothering career and the helpless incompetent husband that I'm laughing at.

Quoting AtillaTheHun: That's awesome! I like doing my SD's hair too. It's part if our time together.



Too bad that the usual bitches have to turn a positive thing into something so negative because they don't want a SM to feel that she did something right.




sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Dec. 2, 2013 at 11:33 AM

 The only reason why I had long hair when I was a toddler was because my mom made my dad brush it.  After I started kindergarten, I had the "bowl cut" too.  But back then they called it the "Pixie"  I looked like hell.  My mom sucked at her mothering career!

Quoting amantonacci: You know how my mom did my hair when I was little? She gave me a bowl cut, I come from a long line of non hair doers I could never be a sm

Quoting DDDaysh:

 Former SD's babysitter used to have to do her hair for me too!  I felt like such a failure, but she had this baby fine hair and I just could not do anything with it other than clip it back.  I couldn't even get it into a decent pony tail most of the time!!! 


I guess I failed at SM school too!  (And BD definitely failed at BD school!) 


Quoting amantonacci: I don't know how to regular braid hair. My dd's preschool teacher does her hair for me



Quoting LyndaLoo78:


I fail at life - I cannot french braid.  Quick someone fetch me the Scarlet "F."


Quoting amantonacci:

I'm right along with you lady's! My poor dd has to deal with just a plain ponytail... She'll be a messed up adult for it I'm sure






Quoting daddysgf:


OK good, I'm not the only one who thought that LOL


Quoting baparrot2:


Making bad ass pig tails = life skills. Ok.


 







 

 

malinda74
by Bronze Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 11:56 AM
I took the time to learn how to frenchbraid and then it wasn't even on my college entrance exam!

Quoting LyndaLoo78:

I fail at life - I cannot french braid.  Quick someone fetch me the Scarlet "F."

Quoting amantonacci:

I'm right along with you lady's! My poor dd has to deal with just a plain ponytail... She'll be a messed up adult for it I'm sure





Quoting daddysgf:

OK good, I'm not the only one who thought that LOL

Quoting baparrot2:

Making bad ass pig tails = life skills. Ok.





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