Can you narrow it down a little? What is the sitch?
Didn't parrot make a post not long ago....
What are the ages of the children, how long have the parents been divorced, how long before either remarried, how long have you been in the picture, what's the custody situation like, how do the parents get along? Need more details to offer advice really.
Basic advice though is, let BM be BM (good or bad in your opinion, let her be). Let BF be BF (good or bad in your opinion, let him be). Be a friend to the child, not a 'parent'. Let your relationship with the child grow, on the childs terms. Be a safe place for the child, not a source of conflict or stress. Child time isn't like adult time, what seems like 'long enough' for an adult may/may not be 'long enough' for the child, and that's OK. It's OK to be dads wife and not take the 'parent' role in stepparent too deep. If you don't have much experience with children on your own, buy a few books on raising children and learn what's 'normal' at each age so you don't take things 'personally' when the teen is unhappy (most are anyway, it's part of being a teen, it's not 'you'.. or it could be...) It's ok to tell your new spouse that you are not the 'scape goat' for discipline, in fact, do not put yourself in a position to be the scape goat in the first place. If something was working before you became the SP, let it keep working after you become the SP.... this could go on, and some may/may not apply to your situation, but without details we can ony randomly throw out 'advice' to you. :)
When the kid comes to visit, does BF have time off to spend with him or will you be left with him while BF is off doing military things? What is his role in his sons life so far? Are his 3 months all at once (all summer?) and the 9 months with BM or is this broken out some other way? If it's throughout the year, holidays and such, how are the visits broken out? Does DH skype with the boy or communicate with him any other ways during the time the boy is with BM? At 2 years old, this seems extreme for the boy, no matter who he's with. :( Any chance BF could be transferred back to the east coast to be closer to his son?
Quoting DDDaysh: Didn't parrot make a post not long ago....
Quoting Dirtroadbarbie: The son is two years old. We are a military family and he lives with his mom 9 months out of the year and three months with us. Both parents have been divorced over a year. We live on the east coast and the kid lives on the west coast.
I guess my advice is, be really nice to him, be the fun lady married to dad, and let dad do the heavy lifting. Be the 'good cop." Enjoy having him over for his vist, and let dad be the parent.
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