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Kid's School Clothes

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 2:01 PM
  • 100 Replies

I am the PTP (parent type person) to my boyfriend's 6 year old daughter, we'll call her J.

 I had a conversation with the BM regarding J's school clothes.  BM said she can pick out whatever she wants to wear, and I told her that when she is with me and DB, that I pick out 3 outfits and J chooses what she wants to wear.  Sometimes she will mix and match them.  BM got a little snotty and said her daughter can wear whatever she wants too and she would be talking to her dad about it. 

I explained to her that J was upset because kids were picking on her when she goes to school from her house because of her clothes and hair.  (BM doesn't do her hair either)

Her reply:  She is my daughter and she is an independent woman.  She can do what she wants. 

Thoughts??

by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 2:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 2:14 PM

BM is correct.  She can do as she wants.  My kids neither one would LET me help pick out their clothes at that age.

soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 2:17 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree with mom. I let my kids pick out their own clothes as long as they are clean. Instead of saying well you should wear this so you won't be picked on I teach my kids to not care what other people say and to be confident in who they are. If I were mom I would not appriciate dad girlfriend teaching my kid that the way to solve other people picking on you is to be the person they think you should be.

ramita
by Silver Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 2:17 PM
There's not much y'all can do. You informed the BM (which personally I think your DH should've done) about her getting picked on. There's nothing else you can do on that end. Maybe you could try teaching your SD how to put outfits together.
sid1083
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 2:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Thoughts? If the girl is worried about being picked on, she could make better choices at the other house.

jlg12678
by Gold Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 2:20 PM

Bm can handle clothing as she wants on her end, and your boyfriend can do the same.

Why would you even have this type of conversation with bm? I avoid the one I at times have to deal with like the plague and stay far, far away from any topic that might provoke when I do have to talk to her.

DDDaysh
by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 2:20 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you should let her talk to the child's father.  This is a parenting call, and not really your decision.  

It's SO not something I would start drama over.  

amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 2:22 PM
BM is correct. Although, neither house should be trying to control the other. It's not a life threatening issue and should be left alone because it's only going to cause drama.

If your SD was being teased about the way she left Bm's house for her own poor outfit choosing skills I would think she would ask her mom for help. Either that or start changing the way she dresses to draw less negative attention to herself. So SD must not be bothered much.

My 4 year old SD can brush her own hair. I do help her but she knows not to leave the house without it brushed.

It seems mom wants this to be a lesson in autonomy with a dash of self expression and you don't agree with it. Just let it be. If your DH is fine with then continue and don't worry about it.

But, like BM, I would also be a little irked about it.

Lalasmomma13
by Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 2:26 PM
I feel bad for J. Maybe while she's with you you can teach her how to pick out matching outfits and her hair.
soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 2:33 PM
2 moms liked this

Why would you be sad for her? Her mom is instilling an invaluable trait with her. The other day my 8 year old who picks her own clothes came home and said mom some boys at lunch were making fun of my shirt because it had taylor swift on it. I said oh yeah what did you do about that. She said I told them they were just jealous cause she is famous and they can be jealous when I'm that famous too. By yours and the OP standards she shouldn't wear that shirt anymore? Sorry I would much rather my daughter love herself more than that.

Quoting Lalasmomma13: I feel bad for J. Maybe while she's with you you can teach her how to pick out matching outfits and her hair.


***Briterican***


Lalasmomma13
by Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 2:34 PM
I feel bad because she's getting picked on.

Quoting soonergirl980:

Why would you be sad for her? Her mom is instilling an invaluable trait with her. The other day my 8 year old who picks her own clothes came home and said mom some boys at lunch were making fun of my shirt because it had taylor swift on it. I said oh yeah what did you do about that. She said I told them they were just jealous cause she is famous and they can be jealous when I'm that famous too. By yours and the OP standards she shouldn't wear that shirt anymore? Sorry I would much rather my daughter love herself more than that.

Quoting Lalasmomma13: I feel bad for J. Maybe while she's with you you can teach her how to pick out matching outfits and her hair.


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