SD15 will be 16 in Feb.
WE (as in DH and me) are not exactly in an awesome financial situation. He has taken a loan on his savings plan, and is planning to take an advance on his pay before he leaves for a foreign post for one year alone. (ie: kids and I are staying in the US and he's going to be overseas)
We are still paying off debts from when he and BM were married. And they've been divorced a LONG TIME. We're also paying off debts from when he was unemployed for a few years and I was supporting everyone.
I had to borrow money from my mom just to have gas money to go visit his kids for Thanksgiving. I had shut off notices waiting for me back home because he didn't pay any bills while I was out of town caring for my Gma---and he chose to buy his kiddo a laptop amongst other things.
We simply do not have a lot of expendable income.
But he informed me two days ago that once the money starts coming in, he is going to buy a car for SD15. I said that I am all for helping her buy a car but since she A) doesn't have a job B) doesn't need a car to get to school (block from mom's) and C) we really don't HAVE the extra money that I'd prefer that he wait.
He's not going to wait. As soon as he can pocket enough money, he plans to get his daughter a car.
As a SM...as a WIFE...do I have ANY say in this? Should I? I mean, I need another mammo right now that I can't get til we pay off the last round of care. We need to pay RENT. We can't this week cuz he spent all the money on stuff for the kids. He wants to do a big Xmas for them. We CAN'T AFFORD IT. It's not that I'm trying to spend money, I'm saying No! To it ALL! But when it comes to the kids, he just seems to have no stop.
Originally, I was told that DH and BM were going to split the cost of a vehicle. Now it's 100% on us? And we couldn't afford the half! I am not cool with getting SD a vehicle that isn't safe. ANd for Xk, you can't necessarily get a safe car.
Anyway...I'm in the "NO WAY, NOT NOW" column. We need to be able to pay for our home, our utilities...he's willing to spend spend and spend on the kids.
How do you lay it out for someone when they just don't seemt o THINK about reality when it comes to what the kids want?
I don't see how I can NOT be the a-hole here. But I would sure like to have heat and water and it seems like he'll spend every last cent on the kids if that's what he wants to do.'