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I pissed her off with a Christmas card

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:02 PM
  • 104 Replies

Dh and I decied to put a family pic from this summer on our Christmas card. This picture included  my step kids. It said Merry Christmas from the "our last name". Well, somehow she found out and I have11 messages at home and 10 texts on my cell. I called DH and he said he knew she was mad.

Were Dh and I wrong?

by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
runinpinkshoes
by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:09 PM

I don't think so.

I do tend to shy away from taking "family pics" with my skids though. They don't think of me as family, and I don't want a picture to somehow imply that I think these are my kids because we share the same last name.

If BM is already sensitive to that, I can understand her maybe feeling a little twinge that her kids are being a "family" with another woman that's not her. I know my mom went through that a little when we were growing up, and she was faced with reminders like that of my dad and SM and their happy life together.

malinda74
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:10 PM
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She is upset because their father included them in the family Christmas card? IMHO, you didn't do anything wrong. I think its nice to include all the kids.
pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:12 PM

I can understand her negative reaction, and it might have been something to think twice about to keep the peace, but at this point what's done is done.  Her problem, not yours.

bellasmom423
by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:15 PM

When we took the pics this summer DH asked his kids if they wanted me in the pic or if we should take a seperate one. It was their choice to include me.

Quoting runinpinkshoes:

I don't think so.

I do tend to shy away from taking "family pics" with my skids though. They don't think of me as family, and I don't want a picture to somehow imply that I think these are my kids because we share the same last name.

If BM is already sensitive to that, I can understand her maybe feeling a little twinge that her kids are being a "family" with another woman that's not her. I know my mom went through that a little when we were growing up, and she was faced with reminders like that of my dad and SM and their happy life together.


CrunchMaMaBear
by Queen Crunch on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:16 PM
2 moms liked this
sounds like a loose loose stitch. leave them out, its rude, include them , bm upset. just send out non pic cards next time lol
bellasmom423
by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:22 PM

that is what we have done is years past..... but this year we had a new baby and we never see ou family because we live in Ak we wanted to send out pics.  We will not do it again.

Quoting CrunchMaMaBear: sounds like a loose loose stitch. leave them out, its rude, include them , bm upset. just send out non pic cards next time lol


runinpinkshoes
by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:24 PM

I think that's nice! Honestly, I don't think you did anything wrong, I can just understand why BM might be a little hurt over it, only because of my experience with my mom. 

I think even if a BM is in a completely healthy place and doesn't care at all if her ex has moved on, it still might suck a little to see your kids with another woman like it's a family without them.

And I'm not a BM. I'm only a SM, so I'm more familiar with the outsider-ness of being a SM. So, while I can acknowledge that it's probably hard for the BM to see her kids happy with another woman, I understand first hand the difficulty of being the outsider. I think it's awesome you took a picture of all of you.

Quoting bellasmom423:

When we took the pics this summer DH asked his kids if they wanted me in the pic or if we should take a seperate one. It was their choice to include me.

Quoting runinpinkshoes:

I don't think so.

I do tend to shy away from taking "family pics" with my skids though. They don't think of me as family, and I don't want a picture to somehow imply that I think these are my kids because we share the same last name.

If BM is already sensitive to that, I can understand her maybe feeling a little twinge that her kids are being a "family" with another woman that's not her. I know my mom went through that a little when we were growing up, and she was faced with reminders like that of my dad and SM and their happy life together.



chasinrainbows
by Gold Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:28 PM
1 mom liked this
How does BM even know? Did you send her a card? I wouldn't even know if my ex sent out Christmas cards with our kids on them, lol.
hershey6
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:31 PM
See we would have the opposite problem- if I dared send out a card without all the older steps on it all hell would break loose. Can't win I guess
elisesmom922
by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:31 PM
1 mom liked this

I personally don't think you did anything wrong, and as a BM wouldn't care if my ex did this. We have done it in the past, but BM didn't care.

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