I have a 10 year old SS that is driving me insane! He has decided to be so defiant, that kind of defiance where you're talking to him about how his behavior is very unacceptable and he just stares back at you with an "I don't give a crap" look. I had posted on here about other issues with my Skids and BM and I was advised to step back when it came to dealing with negative behaviors, and I have tried to do that more so then I already was but I had 1 situation that I ended up consequenceing him, I wasn't planning to, it was more a "scare tactic"? I'll explain:
My oldest SS was cleaning his room, so I asked 10 yr old SS to do the same , well, he went to his room and was back in like 5 minutes, so I asked if he took care of specific things, he said he did (but in a way that gave me no confience), so I asked if he'd go make sure all was taken care of and he argued. So I made a "wager" with him, if I have to check because he won't, then he can be grounded and he stood his ground. I only said what I did because I've done it in other situations and he goes to take care of it because he knows he didn't and I'll see that and he'll get in trouble. I didn't really want to ground him, but I had to because my hunch was right, he hadn't done what he was supposed to and I had to keep my word :-(
After that, I haven't put myself in a position where I'd have to follow through with a consequence that I didn't want to be in charge of giving, but he's really just trying to push buttons and get reactions. I'm pretty proud of myself though, I don't let it get to me in a way that he can see it. Every time he comes home with his brother and something negative has happened with him, I let them both know that their dad will handle it when he gets home. He's just so unwilling to behave most of the time. He only really behaves when he's in trouble, so it feels really manipulative because it seems like he's just complying to get out of trouble but then he's right back to making bad choices once the consequence is lifted OR not even then, he's grounded right now and is still hurting his brother, threatening kids at school and Lord knows what else. I'm just so frustrated and worried. I'm honestly worried that something is happening to him, or that he's taking something (voluntarily or involuntarily)
IDK, it's just a sucky situation.....