When is it time to step back and let DH play daddy?
This might be a little all over the place...
DH and I got together when DSD was 10, she is now almost 14. She has been living with us full time since September of last year. Her mom moved a state away and couldn't afford to take her. We have been struggling with her and school. She would rather talk and mess around instead of doing her work. I have been the one contacting her teachers, bringing home worksheets, checking homework, etc. I am at my witts end and on the verge of a mental breakdown. DH doesn't step up to play daddy... he'll support me and stand behind me when I either dicipline for bad school behavior, or reward for good behavior... but he won't step up and do the diciplining or rewarding himself. I try to have one on one talks with DSD to try and get her to open up a little bit, but it doesn't work. She's not interested in talking to me. I'm so tired of being the monster, but she deserves it. She deserves someone who isn't going to give up on her and make sure she's on the right path. Her mom isn't very involved in her life, only talks to her every few weeks or so. Her dad is just too lazy to care. And she has no desire to have me in the "mom" role. My mom told me to step back and focus on DS (1 1/2) and just be there in the background for when she desides, if she ever does, that she wants me involved in her life. I feel for my mental health that it's best if i step back... but I feel horrible doing it.
Any advice from those of you that have been there done that?