DH is custodial with approx. 60/40 split on paper. They are here way more than that but that's not here or there.
court order reads each parent is 50% responsible for educational costs. This includes obviously school lunches. Both parents agree to hot lunches. There are two children involved.
In 2011 DH grew tired of BM not sending in enough money as DH would pay his half upfront, but BM would never quite pay enough. This resulted in the lunch accounts going into the negative and the school getting quite aggressive to collect the money owed. They don't care what the divorce decree states other than who is custodial and that is the only person they will collect from. DH always ended up forking over another 10-15$ a month as it's about the kids and figured things would even out eventually. He isn't one to squabble over a few dollars.
With both parents paying on both accounts, it made accounting difficult as shed often argue that she paid plenty and left it at that.
So, DH made the decision to split the accounts, her paying for youngest sons account, he pays on oldest sons account. Oldest sons account is $1.00 a more per day. So it was always expected and communicated that BM would reimburse Dad for the 50 cents a day. She still hasn't to this day. So far its added up to be over $400.00 with the new situation of the remainder of the school year beind paid for upfront for those who think its petty.
Fast forward to the current school year. Youngest son has been in school 4 months now. She has let the account go into the negative 4 times already for a total of 18 times since they split the lunch accounts.
That's 18 times youngest son has been embarrassed, 18 times the school has harassed us for payment and 18 times we'd get snotty responses from her when we'd forward the school email.
DH tried to discuss with BM that because it's become such an issue he will be paying for both lunch accounts in full at the beginning of each year and has already paid for the remainder of this school year, provided her with a receipt and an invoice and asked to be reimbursed. We are now talking over $400. He even said he's fine with taking monthly payments and offered to set up a paypal because she was bitching about not being able to pay with a credit card.
she flat out refused saying she doesn't have to do what he says, he doesn't have the right to make these kinds of decisions and she will continue to send her money to the school, and even demanded his personal school login. In our district each parent and child gets their own login and they are not to be shared. Heck even I have my own.
What she's pissy about is her login doesn't allow her to pay online, register the kids, or change information. You know the things that the custodial parent does. Hers doesn't allow her these things because she's not custodial..her login only allows her to view grades and the calander and all the basic info. She's really struggling with not having the control and being custodial.
i didn't know that one parent paying the bill upfront would cause such turmoil.....the holidays really bring out her best side. If she paid for the whole thing upfront, he'd have no problem sending her his half. If your supposed to pay 50% you're supposed to pay 50% right?
DH just figures he will just keep paying upfront, eventually there will be a medical bill he will just deduct what's owed to him out of educational costs from what she prepaid and he owes her or he will eventually just take her to court to collect what's owed to him. At the end of the year the school will send a check to the custodial parent for over payments so maybe it will white wash out then.
silly girl threatening DH to take him to court because she feels he doesn't have the right to pay the lunch account in advance and make these types of decisions. She sure is going to look silly in court if she does!
the best part that makes me literally lol is when she's really upset or really drunk and emailing she starts referring to herself in the 3rd person.. Or rather than saying you and I, she will say me and Dads name.