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Vent Vent Vent. I'm going to explode.

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 9:44 AM
  • 67 Replies

I need to get this out so I don't text BM and cause more issues. DSD lives with me and DH full time. BM lives a state away. Since DSD has been slacking big time with grades DH told her she will be doing more chores around the house until her grades get picked up and her behavior in class improves. DSD goes on about how she wants to go live with her mom and called her mom. BM calls DH and tells him that her child will be no ones **insert "n" word here** DH then explained to her this is her punishment and she's under his roof, his rules.

She thinks we're too hard on her. Well I'm not going to apologize for wanting better for your child than you have provided her with thusfar. 

THEN BMs middle daughter "17" text DH this message
"You're living proof of a fucking moron. 1 yeah I drink once in a while but Im getting my shit done at school. What the fuck are you doing ? You're being a lowlife, living off of a woman, what a man you are. Instead of being such a BITCH all the damn time how about yoy get off your lazy fucking ass-i know it'll be something new for you- and go look for a job. & for 2 my sister will be better off living over here getting her shit done, getting the motivation she needs and not being a bunch of lazy peoples' bitch. And BTW Im almost 17 and not pregnant, Just thought I'd let you know :) " 
I am baffled that a child would speak this way to adult. No respect. Because DSD has rules that makes us horrible people. I wish I could say to BM everything I've kept bottled up for so long. 

I feel better. Thanks for reading :)

by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 9:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
minimoo
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 9:48 AM
Wow. They sound like a classy bunch... how old is dsd? I agree. There needs to be consequences.
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 9:57 AM

Keepin' it classy.  Is this other child not Dh's kid? I'd block the number and ignore it

Liifeiisabeach
by Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 9:59 AM

This child is not DH's. BM has 2 older kids from another relationship.

annabl1970
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 10:03 AM
Save the message.
Block her number.
And get counseling for SD.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Liifeiisabeach
by Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 12:38 PM
2 moms liked this

This is the email I typed up for BM. I sent it to my mom and she thinks I should send it. I know it will cause more issues so I'm sure it will go unsent, but I'm pretty proud of it :)

Renee,

I have to get this pile of shit off of my chest.

First of all, let's not forget that YOU left Ashley behind. YOU wanted an easier life for YOURSELF with no regard for your child. So you left her with us. YOUR choice.

Second of all, we are doing what is needing to be done so that Ashley can have the best future possible. I don't want her to struggle to pay rent, car registration, insurance, whatever. I want her to have a great job that she loves that will provide her with the amount of money she needs to live the lifestyle she wants. We are providing her with life skills that will make her a great member of society. Not a prissy little teenager who thinks it's ok to talk to adults like they're trash. I would think that you would want the best for your child. Good grades, respectful, and hard working. But you're only involved when she calls you crying because she's upset. NEWSFLASH she's a teenager. She's going to get upset when things don't go her way. You talking shit about me and her dad is only adding fuel to the fire. It's called parenting. Ashley has enough friends. She needs parents.

I know you'd like to think that I'M the reason for her hating her life at our house and I shouldn't have any say, but let's think about this... I'M the one who provides her with food to eat, clothes to wear, hair styling tools, electricity, heat, cable, internet, and fun activities when it's deserved. ME. Not you. ME. Not Jaime. ME. So yes, I will have some parental authority over her. We aren't locking her in a dark room and making her clean our shoes, so cut the shit. That "nigger" comment you made baffled me. I didn't know ignorance was so abundant, but alas, you have proven me wrong. Silly me for trying to see the best in everyone. There is nothing good in you.


When Ashley was spending what little time she could with you over the summer you were locking yourself in your bedroom with your boyfriend. Apparently he took precedence over spending time with your child. You also pawned her off on any family member who would take her. On Facebook you were complaining that you needed time to yourself. Mommy needed a break. Aw poor Renee. Must be hard to be a part time parent. You disgust me. Ashley deserves so much more than what you're willing to provide her with. She needs more than makeup and nails. She needs a PARENT. If you truly believe that Ashley's life is so rough at our house, why aren't you here picking her up? If I thought my child was being abused or neglected in any way, I'd be right there removing my child from that situation, but then again I'd never leave my child behind. 

CrunchMaMaBear
by Queen Crunch on Dec. 18, 2013 at 12:44 PM
4 moms liked this
I would just stay out of it. Doesnt involve you, involves your hubby. Let him handle it. Sending that is a bad move

Quoting Liifeiisabeach:

This is the email I typed up for BM. I sent it to my mom and she thinks I should send it. I know it will cause more issues so I'm sure it will go unsent, but I'm pretty proud of it :)


Renee,


I have to get this pile of shit off of my chest.


First of all, let's not forget that YOU left Ashley behind. YOU wanted an easier life for YOURSELF with no regard for your child. So you left her with us. YOUR choice.


Second of all, we are doing what is needing to be done so that Ashley can have the best future possible. I don't want her to struggle to pay rent, car registration, insurance, whatever. I want her to have a great job that she loves that will provide her with the amount of money she needs to live the lifestyle she wants. We are providing her with life skills that will make her a great member of society. Not a prissy little teenager who thinks it's ok to talk to adults like they're trash. I would think that you would want the best for your child. Good grades, respectful, and hard working. But you're only involved when she calls you crying because she's upset. NEWSFLASH she's a teenager. She's going to get upset when things don't go her way. You talking shit about me and her dad is only adding fuel to the fire. It's called parenting. Ashley has enough friends. She needs parents.


I know you'd like to think that I'M the reason for her hating her life at our house and I shouldn't have any say, but let's think about this... I'M the one who provides her with food to eat, clothes to wear, hair styling tools, electricity, heat, cable, internet, and fun activities when it's deserved. ME. Not you. ME. Not Jaime. ME. So yes, I will have some parental authority over her. We aren't locking her in a dark room and making her clean our shoes, so cut the shit. That "nigger" comment you made baffled me. I didn't know ignorance was so abundant, but alas, you have proven me wrong. Silly me for trying to see the best in everyone. There is nothing good in you.




When Ashley was spending what little time she could with you over the summer you were locking yourself in your bedroom with your boyfriend. Apparently he took precedence over spending time with your child. You also pawned her off on any family member who would take her. On Facebook you were complaining that you needed time to yourself. Mommy needed a break. Aw poor Renee. Must be hard to be a part time parent. You disgust me. Ashley deserves so much more than what you're willing to provide her with. She needs more than makeup and nails. She needs a PARENT. If you truly believe that Ashley's life is so rough at our house, why aren't you here picking her up? If I thought my child was being abused or neglected in any way, I'd be right there removing my child from that situation, but then again I'd never leave my child behind. 

theshanster17
by Bronze Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 12:47 PM


Quoting Liifeiisabeach:

This is the email I typed up for BM. I sent it to my mom and she thinks I should send it. I know it will cause more issues so I'm sure it will go unsent, but I'm pretty proud of it :)

Renee,

I have to get this pile of shit off of my chest.

First of all, let's not forget that YOU left Ashley behind. YOU wanted an easier life for YOURSELF with no regard for your child. So you left her with us. YOUR choice.

Second of all, we are doing what is needing to be done so that Ashley can have the best future possible. I don't want her to struggle to pay rent, car registration, insurance, whatever. I want her to have a great job that she loves that will provide her with the amount of money she needs to live the lifestyle she wants. We are providing her with life skills that will make her a great member of society. Not a prissy little teenager who thinks it's ok to talk to adults like they're trash. I would think that you would want the best for your child. Good grades, respectful, and hard working. But you're only involved when she calls you crying because she's upset. NEWSFLASH she's a teenager. She's going to get upset when things don't go her way. You talking shit about me and her dad is only adding fuel to the fire. It's called parenting. Ashley has enough friends. She needs parents.

I know you'd like to think that I'M the reason for her hating her life at our house and I shouldn't have any say, but let's think about this... I'M the one who provides her with food to eat, clothes to wear, hair styling tools, electricity, heat, cable, internet, and fun activities when it's deserved. ME. Not you. ME. Not Jaime. ME. So yes, I will have some parental authority over her. We aren't locking her in a dark room and making her clean our shoes, so cut the shit. That "nigger" comment you made baffled me. I didn't know ignorance was so abundant, but alas, you have proven me wrong. Silly me for trying to see the best in everyone. There is nothing good in you.


When Ashley was spending what little time she could with you over the summer you were locking yourself in your bedroom with your boyfriend. Apparently he took precedence over spending time with your child. You also pawned her off on any family member who would take her. On Facebook you were complaining that you needed time to yourself. Mommy needed a break. Aw poor Renee. Must be hard to be a part time parent. You disgust me. Ashley deserves so much more than what you're willing to provide her with. She needs more than makeup and nails. She needs a PARENT. If you truly believe that Ashley's life is so rough at our house, why aren't you here picking her up? If I thought my child was being abused or neglected in any way, I'd be right there removing my child from that situation, but then again I'd never leave my child behind. 

I wouldn't even engage. She said her piece, your DH explained. She doesn't agree, too bad.

And doing CHORES as punishment? She's pretty lucky she didn't get anything else taken away or done!

packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Dec. 18, 2013 at 12:49 PM

Yeah, if my husband sent that to my ex he and I would have problems.  No one really cares that you are doing things for mom's and dad's kid.  You choose that for yourself.  

I'm not saying mom is right, I'm saying you're not if you think this is about you.

Liifeiisabeach
by Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 12:52 PM

This email will definitely not be sent. And it has nothing to do with me. I think it's me defending DSD. She deserves a PARENT. 

pepper504
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 12:53 PM

Love that you put it out there in a letter, but do not send that to BM.  She will NOT hear what you have to say.  Promise you that. Waste of YOUR time, if anything.

What they think about how you all are raising DSD is none of their business.  If BM wants DSD to live with her, let her take your DH back to court for a change in custody, which sounds like she will not do nor will she win should she "try." 

Save the text from her DD17.  I do not get why people who are not involved in the battle feel the need to assert their *thoughts* on the situation.  SMH.

Just keep doing what you all are doing.  Hugs.

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