I've been in my SS's life since he was born. He is now 2 and 1/2. DH and I have been married for just over a year. SS has been living with us full time since he was 9 months old (50/50 before that) and at 14 months old DH was awarded full custody. BM is inconsistent with visits. Sometimes it's one day every other week. Sometimes it's one day a month. We never really know.
Yesterday BM called DH and in conversation she told him how much she appreciated me stepping up and being a mother figure to SS. She also apologized for not being there for him as much as she should and she's glad he has me in his life. My relationship with BM was very high conflict for the first 18 months or so of SS's life. Since then she has been civil when engaging at pick ups and drop offs.
I never wanted kids. DH was waiting for results of a paternity test when we started dating. I chose to stick around when he found out SS was his. I had no idea I would end up as a custodial stepmother to a wonderful SS. I've made a lot of changes in my life and sacrifices on a daily basis to raise him the best way we know how. As much as I've given up, I also know I am terribly blessed to have this little boy in my life on a daily basis.
There's really no point to this. Just that it is nice for her to actually acknowledge all the sacrifices I've made to be a mother figure to him. Sacrifices she hasn't/wasn't willing to make. It makes me feel appreciated and sometimes when you're really broke and extra exhausted it helps to know it doesn't go unnoticed.