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Feeling appreciated/acknowledged

Posted by on Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:39 AM
  • 7 Replies
4 moms liked this

I've been in my SS's life since he was born.  He is now 2 and 1/2.  DH and I have been married for just over a year.  SS has been living with us full time since he was 9 months old (50/50 before that) and at 14 months old DH was awarded full custody.  BM is inconsistent with visits.  Sometimes it's one day every other week.  Sometimes it's one day a month.  We never really know.

Yesterday BM called DH and in conversation she told him how much she appreciated me stepping up and being a mother figure to SS.  She also apologized for not being there for him as much as she should and she's glad he has me in his life.  My relationship with BM was very high conflict for the first 18 months or so of SS's life.  Since then she has been civil when engaging at pick ups and drop offs.

I never wanted kids.  DH was waiting for results of a paternity test when we started dating.  I chose to stick around when he found out SS was his.  I had no idea I would end up as a custodial stepmother to a wonderful SS.  I've made a lot of changes in my life and sacrifices on a daily basis to raise him the best way we know how.  As much as I've given up, I also know I am terribly blessed to have this little boy in my life on a daily basis. 

There's really no point to this.  Just that it is nice for her to actually acknowledge all the sacrifices I've made to be a mother figure to him.  Sacrifices she hasn't/wasn't willing to make.  It makes me feel appreciated and sometimes when you're really broke and extra exhausted it helps to know it doesn't go unnoticed. 

by on Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:39 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 9:00 AM

it's nice when you're feeling appreciated!!

Does BM at least try to stay in her son's life?

Whether through email/skype/phone calls?

PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 9:06 AM
I'm glad you feel appreciated!!! That must have been nice to hear! :)
stemp387
by Bronze Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 9:17 AM

That's wonderful not only you taking to the child but bm acknowledgin all that you do :)

Eternity807
by Bronze Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 10:01 AM

BM doesn't have contact with DH or SS between visits.  Her only contact is with DH when she is asking to take SS.  We would allow and encourage it if she wanted it. 

She has recently requested that we keep her more informed about his activities and both DH and myself will strive to do this.  She had not expressed an interest in the past though DH keep her informed of doctors visits and any major changes. 

kmdnpmd2013
by on Dec. 19, 2013 at 4:39 PM
Awe!! I love seeing/hearing about this. Me and SO has his boys 50/50. And his ex wife and I get along great and she's always telling me how much she appreciates what I do for her boys. it does make it easier and feel more appreciated. I wish all step parents could have it and no drama. It would for sure be easier on the kids.
OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:20 PM
I love hearing this! Both that you are stepping up to care for your ss and that BM realizes that her son is on good hands
Boobear110
by Audra on Dec. 19, 2013 at 9:59 PM

That's amazing

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