Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does this seem strange?

Posted by on Dec. 21, 2013 at 8:17 AM
  • 65 Replies
BM wants to take SD shopping because she doesn't have a clue about what to get her for Christmas. SD doesn't need anything and doesn't really want anything specific this year except cash. She is a teen and has a trip to TN coming up in the spring with her school so she could use the money to have on the trip. BM and SD's relationship is not good largely because of the revolving door of men she brings into SD's life. SD told her last night she wanted BM to just give her cash to spend "whenever wherever". BM told her that the money will be kept with her to be spent with her or she can have $20 at a time if an item is more than $20. SD is really annoyed. She doesn't NEED BM's money we have supported and taken care of SD without any $ from BM for 5 years. SD just thought if it was her Christmas gift it would be helpful to have for her trip. What do y'all think?
by on Dec. 21, 2013 at 8:17 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Dec. 21, 2013 at 8:39 AM
1 mom liked this
SD did not effectively communicate her desire to use the money on her trip. Stating she wants to use the money "wherever, whenever" did not convey the usage. Perhaps SD can communicate more effectively.
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 8:47 AM
4 moms liked this


Quoting bellasmom32510:  What do y'all think?

I think it's none of your business.

I also think it would be good for Mom and her daughter to go shopping together and spend some time, just the two of them, if their relationship is "not good." This is a good idea to help them grow closer.

bellasmom32510
by on Dec. 21, 2013 at 8:59 AM
2 moms liked this
Telling me its none of my business is rude. It becomes my business when SD asks for my advice and thoughts.

As far as them getting closer by this shopping trip that is not my business. However SD WANTS to have the money not random shit she won't use after a week. SD doesn't understand why she can't just have the money since it is a gift for her.

Quoting whatIknownow:


Quoting bellasmom32510:  What do y'all think?

I think it's none of your business.

I also think it would be good for Mom and her daughter to go shopping together and spend some time, just the two of them, if their relationship is "not good." This is a good idea to help them grow closer.

bellasmom32510
by on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:01 AM
I agree she didn't tell her about the trip. I don't think she wants BM to know about it. BM is NC and has nothing to do with and has shown zero interest in SD's education. I am not sure why she doesn't want her to know about the trip though

Quoting LyndaLoo78: SD did not effectively communicate her desire to use the money on her trip. Stating she wants to use the money "wherever, whenever" did not convey the usage. Perhaps SD can communicate more effectively.
soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:13 AM
7 moms liked this

I think it's rude to question or complain about gifts. This would be a good opportunity for your DH to teach you SD proper gift receiving etiquette.

chanizen
by Platinum Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:14 AM
2 moms liked this
Bm wants to give her something. That is nice, I would counsel sd to be appropriately grateful.

And bm probably just doesn't want the money misused. That is fine.

Often teens just want money. That is fine too...

My dd doesn't Always share everything with her dad. So I share relevant info.

Yes: normal.
bellasmom32510
by on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:15 AM
A "gift" isn't a gift with strings attached though is it?

Quoting soonergirl980:

I think it's rude to question or complain about gifts. This would be a good opportunity for your DH to teach you SD proper gift receiving etiquette.

miapia1020
by Bronze Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:18 AM
1 mom liked this
How old is sd?? Its a bit concerning to me that a parent doesn't know her child is going on an out of state trip.

As far as sd goes, if she's asking for your opinion tell her maybe bm would be more understanding if she explained she would like spending money for her trip. Otherwise, she needs to be appreciative that bm wants to actually take her shopping for things she wants/needs rather than just buying her things without asking

Quoting bellasmom32510: I agree she didn't tell her about the trip. I don't think she wants BM to know about it. BM is NC and has nothing to do with and has shown zero interest in SD's education. I am not sure why she doesn't want her to know about the trip though



Quoting LyndaLoo78: SD did not effectively communicate her desire to use the money on her trip. Stating she wants to use the money "wherever, whenever" did not convey the usage. Perhaps SD can communicate more effectively.
soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:23 AM
2 moms liked this

actually the "gift" was to take the kid shopping at the mall. The kid complained about that and said she wanted cash. Ok well mom is willing to give her cash just not a large amount at once. I don't allow my kids to keep large amounts of cash on them either it's put up until they need it for something that is perfectly reasonable thing for a parent to do.

Quoting bellasmom32510: A "gift" isn't a gift with strings attached though is it?

Quoting soonergirl980:

I think it's rude to question or complain about gifts. This would be a good opportunity for your DH to teach you SD proper gift receiving etiquette.


***Briterican***


FloridaMomma
by Silver Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:23 AM
3 moms liked this
Seems to me if you don't explain your reasoning/ share all relevant facts with your mom, then you should expect to "get what you get, and don't throw a fit."
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured