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He can't be here if you aren't

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 6:16 AM
  • 102 Replies
What do you understand from this statement?

The background to the statement is that BM told BD after a visit that his wife beat her child. BD did not believe it however after telling his wife, she stated that his child can no longer be at the house if he isn't as she had to be careful because of this lie.

Does the statement suggest that SM doesn't want the child around? Or is it an understandable reaction to a false accusation?

BD is EOWE NCP, is it an understandable request?

The stepchild was 6 years old when the accusation was made, should SM change her stance 6 years later?
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by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 6:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
runinpinkshoes
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 7:20 AM
3 moms liked this

I think it's an understandable reaction to a false accusation. A way to ensure another accusation can't be suspected as truth.

That being said, if I were the one being accused of that by a step kid, it would make it harder for me to want to be around him/her. A false accusation would feel like a betrayal.

Whether that stance should change 6 years later would depend on the current SM/child relationship. 


malinda74
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 7:20 AM
Did the strpchild really accuse or was it just BM?
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 7:52 AM
That isn't clear. I don't know.

Quoting malinda74: Did the strpchild really accuse or was it just BM?
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malinda74
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 7:57 AM
1 mom liked this
I think this is a hard thing. I'm honestly not sure what I would do. My first instinct is to protect myself so I'm around to care for my children.
CrunchMaMaBear
by Silver Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 8:01 AM
4 moms liked this
I don't think step kids should be spending their visitation with sm anyway. I have always thought it was pointless for kids to visit if their dad isn't even there. With that said, I think it is understandable
whatIknownow
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 8:44 AM

All these years and you never tried to find out?

Quoting leegirl_jm: That isn't clear. I don't know.

Quoting malinda74: Did the strpchild really accuse or was it just BM?


tiafez
by Platinum Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 8:58 AM

I think it puts an end to unfounded accusations. I guess it depends on the personalities of SK and SM as to when it ends or if it does. 


leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 9:18 AM
1 mom liked this
Exactly, I agree that the stepchild is visiting the father so he really doesn't need to be here if Dad isn't.

Quoting CrunchMaMaBear: I don't think step kids should be spending their visitation with sm anyway. I have always thought it was pointless for kids to visit if their dad isn't even there. With that said, I think it is understandable
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leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 9:27 AM
SM and SK have never had any never interaction, they have always had a mutually respectful relationship however what is done is done, no one can undo the lie.

Quoting tiafez:

I think it puts an end to unfounded accusations. I guess it depends on the personalities of SK and SM as to when it ends or if it does. 


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som610
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 9:29 AM
I agree to a point that a child shouldn't be there if the BP isn't going to be home. SD lives 1000 miles away and while my Normand takes off the while week when she is here at Christmas he can't take off the while month of June when she is here.

I think it is a reasonable request but when SD accused me of beating her I wasn't going to give in to the madness and lies and ruin my husbands relationship with her by not allowing her here when he wasn't. I knew I didn't do it so she could talk all she wanted but would never have proof. I never even touched her.

Quoting leegirl_jm: Exactly, I agree that the stepchild is visiting the father so he really doesn't need to be here if Dad isn't.



Quoting CrunchMaMaBear: I don't think step kids should be spending their visitation with sm anyway. I have always thought it was pointless for kids to visit if their dad isn't even there. With that said, I think it is understandable
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