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Cutting communication with bm!! :):)

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 2:46 PM
  • 30 Replies
Dh finally told bm that she doesn't need to contact me unless of an emergency. He's gotten a calendar, so he stay more organized and remove me from the secretary role.

I'm elated, because I have no interest in communicating with her. It's gone well so far, she even had ss call dh's phone when ss wanted to talk to us last night. (She gets second half of Christmas break and he cried wanting to come home last night.... It was so sad)

Problem is, my parents are on my ass about the decision. They say I need to deal with her. do I???? I didn't get her pregnant, and I see it as she's *NOT* my problem.
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 2:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lauren79
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 2:51 PM

No I don't think you need to deal with her. I think the way you and DH are handling it is fine. Unfortunately it's your parent's opinion and they are entitled to it, but that is all it is, an opinion.

Hope it all goes how you want it to :-)

dawnnamarie
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 2:53 PM
We're finally setting some boundaries with her. It's been a hectic year because Dh got custody at the beginning of 2013. We did give her some adjustment time, since they were swapping from 50/50- which requires a hell of a lot of communication.

So 2014 is all about limits and boundaries :):)


Quoting Lauren79:

No I don't think you need to deal with her. I think the way you and DH are handling it is fine. Unfortunately it's your parent's opinion and they are entitled to it, but that is all it is, an opinion.


Hope it all goes how you want it to :-)

Lauren79
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 2:58 PM

I wish I could have some freaking boundaries. LOL. We have the kids minimum 5 or 6 nights a week, if BM gets them at all it's for one night and then if they are gone 2 nights her mom usually will take them on a Saturday or something so we can get some time!

I just had it out with SO last night because BM calls for ANYTHING! Last night (we had the kids and they were in bed asleep) she called after 10 because she had gotten into some kind of something with a car accident or something and the police were there. Yesterday, again we had the kids, she called to vent to him about her boss. It's always something, her bike being stolen, her getting fired from a job, and on and on ....I told him last night if it's not about the kids, he needs to just hang up and quit engaging in the conversation. I'm over it! UGH :'(

BrandiGra
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:08 PM
2 moms liked this

 She has zero reason to contact you. All communications can go thru the bioparents.

dawnnamarie
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:10 PM
Screw that! We did work on that issue early on. When bm would call, Dh would remind her that if it wasn't about ss then he didn't care to know. If she kept pushing, he would let he know the conversation had drifted into the wrong area, and he would hang up.

It took her calling to tell him that her bf had broken up with her because he found out she cheated and got a sti for Dh to finally set that boundary!!! Lol, maybe your bm will say something so freaking awkward that Dh wants to cut off the free psych/venting sessions!! Good luck girl!


Quoting Lauren79:

I wish I could have some freaking boundaries. LOL. We have the kids minimum 5 or 6 nights a week, if BM gets them at all it's for one night and then if they are gone 2 nights her mom usually will take them on a Saturday or something so we can get some time!


I just had it out with SO last night because BM calls for ANYTHING! Last night (we had the kids and they were in bed asleep) she called after 10 because she had gotten into some kind of something with a car accident or something and the police were there. Yesterday, again we had the kids, she called to vent to him about her boss. It's always something, her bike being stolen, her getting fired from a job, and on and on ....I told him last night if it's not about the kids, he needs to just hang up and quit engaging in the conversation. I'm over it! UGH :'(

dawnnamarie
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:10 PM
She was super pissed when Dh told her that

Quoting BrandiGra:

 She has zero reason to contact you. All communications can go thru the bioparents.

CrunchMaMaBear
by Silver Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:11 PM
1 mom liked this
This exactly. She should never contact you, unless like a extreme situation where dad can not be reached.. and kids are with you.

Quoting BrandiGra:

 She has zero reason to contact you. All communications can go thru the bioparents.

charleyangel317
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:13 PM

You don't need to contact her unless there is a reason that dh can't. Dh and Bm can handle it. Now it also depends on the situation. You're parents don't really have a say do they.

dawnnamarie
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:14 PM
You would think she would be understanding. She threw a fit when Dh told her that it needed to stop. Her response was "well, what if you don't answer your phone?"

He told her that if it's not an emergency to leave a message and he'll call her back when he gets time. She's big on instant gratification, and she knows that Ive got my phone with me all the time. So she wants to be able to call me ASAP when Dh doesn't answer.


Quoting CrunchMaMaBear: This exactly. She should never contact you, unless like a extreme situation where dad can not be reached.. and kids are with you.



Quoting BrandiGra:

 She has zero reason to contact you. All communications can go thru the bioparents.

dawnnamarie
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:15 PM
Bm isn't happy that communication is to now be through her and my Dh now, either...


I usually trust my parents' advice. It's not their business, but they usually are right! Lol


Quoting charleyangel317:

You don't need to contact her unless there is a reason that dh can't. Dh and Bm can handle it. Now it also depends on the situation. You're parents don't really have a say do they.

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