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SDs Health..:( so concerned

Posted by on Dec. 31, 2013 at 5:11 PM
  • 21 Replies

Opinions please :

Sd is often very tired when we get her for her visits and sleeps the whole time.  Last summer we had her all the time, after the first week she acted like a "normal" four year old kid.  For christmas we had her 7 days..every single day all she wanted to do is sleep, she had no appetite, very pale and dark circles under her eyes.  Again, she has been like this in the past and when we mentioned it to a pediatrician he said "It could be genetic, some kids are just pale with dark circles under their eyes....."  He ignored the sleeping all the time part and the fact that when she was with us all the time she had color, she wasnt tired, she ate normally.  My husband and I were leaning towards some childhood depression.  A friend suggested maybe she has a health condition.  Also, her real mom is a known drug addict.  Drug exposure?  Any opinions.  I'll list her "symptoms".

Pale skin, dark circles under eyes, extreme fatigue, intermittent poor coordination (compaired to children her age), lack of appetite, will use her fingers to make herself vomit to avoid eating, withdrawn (would not even let us read her bedtime stories to her.  did not get excited about any of her christmas gifts), whispers then gets upset when people can't understand her (she talked in a normal voice when she lived with us, but she did this before when she was living with mom and just visiting), chews on her hand and fingers causing bleeding, frequent large bruises

ive included the psychological symptoms too..but what if they are masking an underlying health condition?

has anyone ever heard of, or seen symptoms of children exposed to meth??  I know her mom used to shoot up and take pills, but i guess its possible someone is smoking around her..??  or cooking it????

We are fighting for custody, her mom recently agreed to sign over custody.  We are afraid to get social services involved because bm will get angry and back out..besides social services never helped when sd was being molested by bm's bf or when we've turned in pictures of bruises and burns OR when bm spent the summer in treatment.  Our lawyer keeps saying wait it out unless we feel sd is in immediate danger (which weve felt for 2 years now with no help from cps :( )  Obviously the next step is taking her to a doctor, i just feel like we were blown off last time.


THANKS for your opinions!!

by on Dec. 31, 2013 at 5:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Dec. 31, 2013 at 5:17 PM
1 mom liked this
How soon will you be getting custody? If it is a matter of weeks, then I would wait and not rock the boat.

Something is very wrong, I think. She needs a complete blood work up and counseling to start. However, if and WHEN they find something, it will alert BM and that could set her off.
jules2boys
by Gold Member on Dec. 31, 2013 at 5:23 PM

I agree. 

If it's a matter of months or more before DH will be getting custody then I'd take her to a DIFFERENT doctor and get another opinion. 

Why does the lawyer say to not get CPS involved?  (or did I misread that?)

Quoting HopesNDreams: How soon will you be getting custody? If it is a matter of weeks, then I would wait and not rock the boat.

Something is very wrong, I think. She needs a complete blood work up and counseling to start. However, if and WHEN they find something, it will alert BM and that could set her off.


stashia
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2013 at 5:31 PM

Her lawyer told our lawyer the paperwork should be done in a day or two.....that was a couple weeks ago.  Now her lawyer is not speaking to our lawyer and bm will not give us and answers either.  We don't know what to do :(  We don't want to rock the boat like you said, yet how long do we wait.  We are begging our lawyer to atleast get answers so we know how to persue this.  In the mean time I was hoping someone would say "Yeah my child had those symptoms and it turned out to be___________"  Definately plan to get her into play therapy as soon as those papers are signed!!  Shes went through more in her 4 years that most adults have :(  Thanks!!

Quoting HopesNDreams: How soon will you be getting custody? If it is a matter of weeks, then I would wait and not rock the boat.

Something is very wrong, I think. She needs a complete blood work up and counseling to start. However, if and WHEN they find something, it will alert BM and that could set her off.


stashia
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2013 at 5:34 PM

Our lawyer said to contact them if something major comes up or if we get any real proof of anything, but otherwise he was saying exactly what you guys are, just wait it out and don't make her angry.  

Quoting jules2boys:

I agree. 

If it's a matter of months or more before DH will be getting custody then I'd take her to a DIFFERENT doctor and get another opinion. 

Why does the lawyer say to not get CPS involved?  (or did I misread that?)

Quoting HopesNDreams: How soon will you be getting custody? If it is a matter of weeks, then I would wait and not rock the boat.

Something is very wrong, I think. She needs a complete blood work up and counseling to start. However, if and WHEN they find something, it will alert BM and that could set her off.



venessaw04
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2013 at 6:08 PM
So when you do have her for multiple day you guys should schedule another appt. Let them know there may of been drug use during pregnancy . get her some vitamins for your home. take her to an er next time they will run all urine and blood work. have u spoke to bm about it by chance dh just express concern even if she does nothing. he can
HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Dec. 31, 2013 at 6:18 PM
IMHO, if you take her to an ER for testing, they will find something. They will find signs of abuse or neglect at the very least. I do think they will find traces of drug exposure in her blood work. They may or may not do their job and report it. They may or may not believe you that this occurs at the other household. SD may or may not cooperate. Worst case scenario...nothing happens and she goes home to BM. Even worse worst case scenario, she tells BM you took her to the hospital and that she was interviewed. Strung out BM then beats the living crap out of her and permanently damages her or kills her. THIS potential is why I advise waiting if it could be only a few weeks.

You need something to either threaten or bribe BM with. Can you offer her money? A few hundred dollars might look awesome to a druggie. To get our SD, our lawyer implied that we would never seek child support if she would sign over papers immediately.


Quoting stashia:

Her lawyer told our lawyer the paperwork should be done in a day or two.....that was a couple weeks ago.  Now her lawyer is not speaking to our lawyer and bm will not give us and answers either.  We don't know what to do :(  We don't want to rock the boat like you said, yet how long do we wait.  We are begging our lawyer to atleast get answers so we know how to persue this.  In the mean time I was hoping someone would say "Yeah my child had those symptoms and it turned out to be___________"  Definately plan to get her into play therapy as soon as those papers are signed!!  Shes went through more in her 4 years that most adults have :(  Thanks!!

Quoting HopesNDreams: How soon will you be getting custody? If it is a matter of weeks, then I would wait and not rock the boat.



Something is very wrong, I think. She needs a complete blood work up and counseling to start. However, if and WHEN they find something, it will alert BM and that could set her off.


BrandiGra
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2013 at 8:02 PM

We avoided a court case by offering bm no Cs. We had plenty of evidence but it would have still cost us vast amounts of money to win a judge over in our state.

So I suggested that we put in CO that bm will never have to pay us CS.  She agreed and signed over custody within 24 hours.

Dh's lawyer said she could not believe Bm sold her kids over so quickly.

My advice try that. 

6isus
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2013 at 8:53 PM

Severe allergies?  I hope!  Cuz she is showing signs of abuse and/or neglect!   Either way a developmental specialist would be a great resource!  Pediatrician keep the kids physically well and treat illnesses!  She is showing signs of a deeper issue!   Get her to dr ASAP!  Make sure you have good reason to take her to tell BM Like a viral/flu thing!  Document everything!  Pics and videos of odd behaviors without the kid realizing it!    Your step daughter needs to be looked at in depth by someone trained in behavior and physical health!

CrunchMaMaBear
by Queen Crunch on Dec. 31, 2013 at 10:02 PM
Poor kid.
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Dec. 31, 2013 at 10:42 PM
My lawyer has always told me that too. If we have an open case there is no need to involve another agency who essentially does not much... And a report by a parent trying to gain custody could make that parent appear to just be trying to sling mud.

Quoting jules2boys:

I agree. 

If it's a matter of months or more before DH will be getting custody then I'd take her to a DIFFERENT doctor and get another opinion. 

Why does the lawyer say to not get CPS involved?  (or did I misread that?)

Quoting HopesNDreams: How soon will you be getting custody? If it is a matter of weeks, then I would wait and not rock the boat.



Something is very wrong, I think. She needs a complete blood work up and counseling to start. However, if and WHEN they find something, it will alert BM and that could set her off.


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