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Posted by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 10:58 PM
  • 7 Replies

(Sorry if I double posted this...getting used to the site)

Hey, glad I found this site.

I'm a mom to 4 of my own children and 3 "step-children."  We're not married, so not officially "step" but we've lived together for almost 2 yrs and the kids refer to us as "step-parents."

Our kids ages are  20, 19 (girls) 17, 16 (boys) 13, 13 (boys) and 7 (girl) 

My boyfriend and I have worked together for about 16 yrs, and got together 4 yrs ago when we both got divorced. It's been the worst and best 4 years! :-)

Looking forward to getting some advice on here!

Thanks for the welcome.

by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 10:58 PM
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Replies (1-7):
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jan. 1, 2014 at 11:00 PM
Welcome. What makes it the worst? Are you guys planning on getting married? What is the custody situation? How many live full time with you?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Jan. 1, 2014 at 11:02 PM

Welcome

amylynns
by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 11:12 PM

Worst because of getting divorce and SO much drama with my ex and his ex.   But best because I'm so glad I had my man to go through it all with me!

The oldest daughters are in college. I have full custody of my 4 kids. The 3 that are at home go to their dad's "about" every other weekend. (sometimes he just doesn't take them...) 

My boyfriend has 50/50 custody of his. So a week on/week off.

Marriage is one of our frequent discussions...I was going to say arguments, but I'll say discussion. :-)  I'm ready to be married now, he's scared because he doesn't want to go through a divorce again. I don't know if he wants our relationship to be "perfect" in his mind before he thinks we're ready, or what...but I do not plan on being the live in girlfriend forever. All of our finances are together as well. So we're basically living as a married couple without the ring/ ceremony!  He does say he's more committed to me than he ever was with his ex. (they were married for 17 yrs) but that really doesn't give me much comfort. I feel that if he was more committed to me, we'd get married.

But for now, we continue to work on our relationship and I remain (mostly) patient.

kristinbugg
by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 11:30 PM
How long were BM and DH divorced when you began your relationship?

Quoting amylynns:

Worst because of getting divorce and SO much drama with my ex and his ex.   But best because I'm so glad I had my man to go through it all with me!


The oldest daughters are in college. I have full custody of my 4 kids. The 3 that are at home go to their dad's "about" every other weekend. (sometimes he just doesn't take them...) 


My boyfriend has 50/50 custody of his. So a week on/week off.


Marriage is one of our frequent discussions...I was going to say arguments, but I'll say discussion. :-)  I'm ready to be married now, he's scared because he doesn't want to go through a divorce again. I don't know if he wants our relationship to be "perfect" in his mind before he thinks we're ready, or what...but I do not plan on being the live in girlfriend forever. All of our finances are together as well. So we're basically living as a married couple without the ring/ ceremony!  He does say he's more committed to me than he ever was with his ex. (they were married for 17 yrs) but that really doesn't give me much comfort. I feel that if he was more committed to me, we'd get married.


But for now, we continue to work on our relationship and I remain (mostly) patient.

BrandiGra
by Bronze Member on Jan. 1, 2014 at 11:41 PM
How did each marriage end? How long before you stayed dating?
Basically was there cheatin?
How do the kids get along with each other and with y'all?
bipolarmonkey
by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 11:54 PM
Hi, I'm new too. Welcome
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jan. 2, 2014 at 7:39 AM

Unfortunately you're probably right. I don't buy the "I'm scared of another divorce" excuse.... not when you're already living together and comingling your money anyway.

Quoting amylynns:

I feel that if he was more committed to me, we'd get married.


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