Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

mixed messages take sides response

Posted by on Jan. 10, 2014 at 4:02 PM
  • 157 Replies
To all who responded to my 1st and probably last post I would like to say this I am not dense and I am not dumb. I know that your period does not stop in the shower. Instead of making fun of me and laughing at me , why didn't you ask me to clarify?
I was asking for help on how to handle a situation I felt lost about. Trying to gain some knowledge on how to be a good step mom. Yes I acknowledge that I am young I am new to the sm game yes I know. But you ladies are very brutal not Nice at all. You just assumed I was dumb didnt know anything and SOME not ALL didnt even try and help me.
I however appreciate those of you who said let the SD BM handle the whole period thing she maybe embarrassed with you. And I also what to give a thank you to those who laughed at the "period stopping" comment because it made me realize how unclear I was being about the whole period thing and reiterates the fact that I DO need to let my sd's mother handle this situation.
In conclusion I came to this forum to get help and support because I do feel lost but instead I was laughed at and made fun of.
by on Jan. 10, 2014 at 4:02 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jan. 10, 2014 at 4:30 PM
1 mom liked this

You have to understand that a lot of the ladies in here are both BMs and SMs.

Do you have children of your own? If not, I don't think this is something that you're going to be able to comprehend so early in your marriage.

My bio-kids do not have a SM, DH is the father of all 3 of my children. I'd be LIVID if my kids had a SM and she was telling my daughter asinine things about her period. That's a PARENT'S job.

If you don't like the way your SD is, maybe you shouldn't have married her father. Chances are he's not going to parent any children you have together any differently than he's parenting his current child.

And you're what, 25? That's not that young. I'm only 30. I was a SM at 18, that's young.

You just need to let mom and dad be the parents.

packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Jan. 10, 2014 at 4:36 PM
1 mom liked this

It really didn't cross your mind to let the parents handle this and that the kid might not want you involved?  That is a serious question.

If you wouldn't do it with any other person's child that isn't yours, don't do it with your SK unless 1)parents want your help and 2) the kid does.  

This isn't a situation to feel lost on.  It's a period.  it's normal, it's life, and there is a good chance mom has it handled even if you don't like how she has it handled.  She's been mom and knows her kid longer than you've been SM and have known the child and so she probably has a good idea of how to handle things with her child.

soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Jan. 10, 2014 at 4:38 PM
2 moms liked this

hmmm I missed something

1SpaZZedMom
by Librarian on Jan. 10, 2014 at 4:45 PM

I guess Holiday Break and all the chaos in my life, I missed something again.

Yes, this is a situation where BM should be handling what-ever the issue may have been IMHO. 

Do exuse the wolves.... Although, as a veteran SM myself, I can become a member of the pack. Tink said it well - a lot of us are BMs and SMs. I have BC and SC. I've been a CSM and am a NCSM now. I have always had custody of my children... 

jesssanate
by Bronze Member on Jan. 10, 2014 at 4:47 PM
I only would handle an issue like that with my SK if they came to me for help.
DDDaysh
by on Jan. 10, 2014 at 4:49 PM
2 moms liked this

In her first post, OP said she needed to talk to SD about her period, because BM had not even informed her SD that "your period stops when during a shower". 

It sort of derailed the thread, because, well...  you can imagine. 

Quoting soonergirl980:

hmmm I missed something


djohn13
by Member on Jan. 10, 2014 at 4:50 PM
Thanks for this I am 28 I you are right somethings I do not understand.
I do love my SD she is a great daughter, she makes good grades and has a good head on her shoulders. It is frustrating because I believe that if her mother was talking about her period to her child this question/post would be null in void. But, like you said it really doesnt matter if the BM tells her the do's and dont's about her cycle that's left up to her mother period. Thanks again

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

You have to understand that a lot of the ladies in here are both BMs and SMs.

Do you have children of your own? If not, I don't think this is something that you're going to be able to comprehend so early in your marriage.

My bio-kids do not have a SM, DH is the father of all 3 of my children. I'd be LIVID if my kids had a SM and she was telling my daughter asinine things about her period. That's a PARENT'S job.

If you don't like the way your SD is, maybe you shouldn't have married her father. Chances are he's not going to parent any children you have together any differently than he's parenting his current child.

And you're what, 25? That's not that young. I'm only 30. I was a SM at 18, that's young.

You just need to let mom and dad be the parents.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jan. 10, 2014 at 4:50 PM

OP thought BM was failing because her SD didn't know that a period stops when you take a shower. And her SD wasn't doing things right and she was stressed... So she gave her SD a period 101 talk.

Everyone was pretty amused that OP thought that by getting wet your period stopped and we all must have missed that part of period 101.

Quoting soonergirl980:

hmmm I missed something


Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jan. 10, 2014 at 4:51 PM

The kid can just as easily go to her dad. DH has talked to SD, who's 13, about her period.

Quoting djohn13: Thanks for this I am 28 I you are right somethings I do not understand.
I do love my SD she is a great daughter, she makes good grades and has a good head on her shoulders. It is frustrating because I believe that if her mother was talking about her period to her child this question/post would be null in void. But, like you said it really doesnt matter if the BM tells her the do's and dont's about her cycle that's left up to her mother period. Thanks again

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

You have to understand that a lot of the ladies in here are both BMs and SMs.

Do you have children of your own? If not, I don't think this is something that you're going to be able to comprehend so early in your marriage.

My bio-kids do not have a SM, DH is the father of all 3 of my children. I'd be LIVID if my kids had a SM and she was telling my daughter asinine things about her period. That's a PARENT'S job.

If you don't like the way your SD is, maybe you shouldn't have married her father. Chances are he's not going to parent any children you have together any differently than he's parenting his current child.

And you're what, 25? That's not that young. I'm only 30. I was a SM at 18, that's young.

You just need to let mom and dad be the parents.


momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jan. 10, 2014 at 4:51 PM
Oh my gosh! Where were you?? Lol


Quoting soonergirl980:

hmmm I missed something

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)