How not to distance myself from step kids when BM micromanages and controls me and my husband through the kids? She sends messages through the kids to tell us how how to do everything from laundry to hair and food! I'm struggling to keep from resenting the kids! I know it's her goal to keep the kids from being close to me! She is insanely jealous! I question BPD based on actions! She had an affair and is unhappily married to that man now! She still thinks my husband is under her control and says "we share kids" to justify texting and calling him all the time! Mostly about her perception of their relationship! My husband talks to kids every day (10 & 14). He knows what is going on in their life without her constant intrusion! She uses her manipulative nature and the kids to control us! My husband believe she will make the kids life HELL if he doesn't cower to her! Based upon everything I have whit messed... This is true! She put the kids in the middle from the start and has even woken the kids in the middle of the night to call dad and beg him to take her back (yes she was in a relationship with her lover at the time)! The youngest says mom was happiest married to dad and BM told her it's Dad's fault for signing the divorce papers! He didn't have to do that! The divorce was over 4 years ago! My husband gave her 3 months to give up lover for the sake of the marriage and kids! She got exactly what she wanted! Now making us pay for her poor choices!
I'm resenting the messenger (the kids)! Even though I know they are caught! I'm struggling to even want to be near them or the frustration it's bringing! Makes me sad because before we were married, the relationship with the kids was amazingly good!
The week we got married, she did everything in her power to prove she was in control! I was beneath her! My husband said to ignore it from the start and I did! However a year later we r in worse shape! I'm resenting the whole situation! It's exhausting!
What do I do not to allow this to drive me insane and away from husband and the kids??? My heart goes out to her husband as he is totally helpless to the flirtation and inappropriate behavior she tries to pull with my husband! He see most of it! I have overheard her talk to him and it is belittling! He owns allowing that, I just hate to know the kids see and hear this! He was 40's and never married! I think she snowballed him for $! She uses everyone! Kids, parents and extended family! She has no concept of how it makes the other people feel!
on Jan. 14, 2014 at 10:54 AM