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College Education

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:07 AM
  • 31 Replies

Who's responsibility is it for the child's college eduation? Child has never lived with BM but expects SM to contribute? I view it is the childs responsibility to be invested in their own college eduation. Nothing is ever a free ride. A little back story, I am the SM and have worked for the past 10 years with every $$ going towards the kids. I recenly quit my job to focus on adoption to expand our family, every $$ I have saved has gone toward the SK.  Now, with college around the corner, I am reading that I am responsible for their education. Really? I can't punish, I can't set guidlines, I can't set expectations, but I can give my hard earn money? Please, Please, Please, help me process this.... The financial aid website said that I have to contribute as a stepparent....Really? 

by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Polkadotted
by Platinum Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:15 AM

yes, if I remember right the household income enters into the formula, but if you quit your job, then it should only take a hit this year.

Seychelles1409
by Gold Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:33 AM
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The government may take your income into account, but by no means should you feel you have to contribute funds towards your SKs college education.   If BM wants to give you a hard time, you can tell her you have done all you intend to do; these are her kids and she can take care of some financial burden for her own kids from here on out.  You have done far more than anyone could have had a right to expect.

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:47 AM
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Whichever parent feels like contributing. I don't care what my ex plans to do - my plan is to help my kids through college. And I just don't give a fuck what he wants or expects. I don't expect anything from him. As for me - well I'll be helping.

I don't expect his wife to do anything. She can sit there and be pretty. So long as she stays quiet.
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macbudsmom
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:50 AM
Financial aid is based on the parents income. Therefore, the child gets screwed when the parents either cant or wont help.
Humility1
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 1:26 AM
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I think it's that it's not our responsibility as steparents because since we can't set expectations, guidelines,or discipline I feel that we shouldn't be expected to contribute financially. We have no legal rights towards our stepkids so therefore I refuse to put my hard earn money into something I have no rights. My stepson lives with us full time and his bm's mom had the nerve to tell me to start saving up for college because I might have a hard time. I laughed at her and said that its their responsibility not mine I will take no part or say since first of all I didn't adopt my stepson and he has a capable father and grandparents who are healthy that can help him. I've made it very clear to his family that my job is to only be kind and loving but I refuse to be taken advantage of. I would pay for my own kid but not stepkid.

Quoting JuliaRHJ321:

Who's responsibility is it for the child's college eduation? Child has never lived with BM but expests SM to contribute? I view it is the childs responsibility to be invested in their own college eduation. Nothing is ever a free ride. A little back story, I am the SM and have worked for the past 10 yeers with ever $$ going towards the kids. I recenly quite my job to focus on adoption to expand our family, every $$ I have saved has gone toward the SK.  Now, with college around the corner, i am reading that I am responsible for their education. Really? I can't punish, I can't set guidlines, I can't set expectations, but I can give my hard earn money? Please, Please, Please, help me process this.... The finacial aid website said that I have to contribute as a stepparent....Really? 

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 1:35 AM
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It is family income of the primary household.  So yes, your income is used to determine expected "parental" responsibility.  The federal government can't force you to pay anything.  It is simply a way to determine eligibility for needs based financial aid.

I know of no state that forces stepparents to pay for college.

gugu250
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 3:37 AM

 

I think you could help where you think necessary.  But yes, no pressure.

jules2boys
by Platinum Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 3:38 AM

I've heard (but haven't checked myself) that for financial aid they use the household income from both parents, even if it's not the primary home.  If so, my boys are screwed because I have NO control over BF/SMs income expenses (nor should I) but FA will count it against the boys if they apply?  :(  

I agree, though, that SPs shouldn't be forced to pay, and they aren't.  Heck, parents shouldn't be 'forced' to pay either but if you have the means to help, I think it should be offered, just not 'forced'. 

Quoting pdxmum:

It is family income of the primary household.  So yes, your income is used to determine expected "parental" responsibility.  The federal government can't force you to pay anything.  It is simply a way to determine eligibility for needs based financial aid.

I know of no state that forces stepparents to pay for college.


progressandjoy
by Gold Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 6:28 AM
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Federal aid, like the FASFA, only uses the income of the primary home. I don't think they even have a spot to include the second home's information.

I didn't qualify for any aid, because of my stepdad's income. It was silly because it was all based on his income (which was probably 95% of the household income) but I couldn't use my actual dad's income (100% of his household).

That's just for the FASFA though. Some private colleges that give their own financial aid may do things differently.


Quoting jules2boys:

I've heard (but haven't checked myself) that for financial aid they use the household income from both parents, even if it's not the primary home.  If so, my boys are screwed because I have NO control over BF/SMs income expenses (nor should I) but FA will count it against the boys if they apply?  :(  

I agree, though, that SPs shouldn't be forced to pay, and they aren't.  Heck, parents shouldn't be 'forced' to pay either but if you have the means to help, I think it should be offered, just not 'forced'. 

Quoting pdxmum:

It is family income of the primary household.  So yes, your income is used to determine expected "parental" responsibility.  The federal government can't force you to pay anything.  It is simply a way to determine eligibility for needs based financial aid.

I know of no state that forces stepparents to pay for college.


tinybluemoon
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 6:52 AM

Yes, it takes into account total household income but you, your husband and old uncle bob don't HAVE to help pay for college.

Personally, my mother has set up college funds for all my children that she puts alot of her money into in hopes one of them want to follow in her footsteps to an Ivy league education to becomes the worlds best doctor, especially after the great disapointment that is me. She puts a lot of weight on education. My stepkids family don't, so they won't have that and my husband and I don't pay for college. Once you turn 18 you're pretty much on your own finacially in our house.

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