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Should SS know that BM is lying to him?

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:21 PM
  • 31 Replies
BM is a notorious liar. It's gotten so bad that even her own family does not believe what she says.

DH thinks that SS needs to know the truth, and has told SS in the past that his mom lied to him when it comes to certain things. When SS tells DH "but my mom said ...", DH might reply, "Well, she lied ...". I am not sure if I agree with this but sometimes I am thinking that SS should find out himself that BM is lying to him.

What do you think?
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BrownEyedGirl86
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:24 PM

how old is your ss??

AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:26 PM

Then let him find out himself.

Your DH's approach is purposely detrimental to what already seems to be a shaky relationship.

CSM07
by Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:27 PM
SS is almost 10.
CSM07
by Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:28 PM
What do you mean by shaky relationship? Between SS and BM, BM and DH, or DH and I. DH and I talked about this issue and he understands my point, but is not sure what is best either.
kellynh
by Kelly on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:29 PM
2 moms liked this

No, DH shouldn't tell his son anything negative about his mother. 

BrownEyedGirl86
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:30 PM

I don't think your dh is wrong with trying to show him how ss's mom is and her behavior. I think his methods and his actual words aren't the best; I would just have dh say when ss tells him something that that wasn't what BM had told DH....ya know and if there is any type of proof I would show him....thats what we do

Quoting CSM07: SS is almost 10.



Basicrose
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:34 PM

regardless of her lies, she is still his mother. At 10, he still believes in her. Careful how you handle this.

CSM07
by Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:34 PM
Well, maybe I did not say it the right way. SS will tell DH (or me) something that BM said, and DH well tell him that BM lied if the statement is not true.
CSM07
by Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:36 PM
Maybe I should mention that BM has only been back in SS's life for a few years after a 3-4 year absence. I don't know if you think this makes a difference in how this should be handled. BM also never had custody rights, only visitation.
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:39 PM
1 mom liked this
That's a hard place to be in. I feel that way sometimes too. I just want to expose the lies! But even as mom it's not my place to expose dad. Dad will expose himself eventually. Already is actually.

Your SS doesn't really need your husband/his dad to tell him that mom is lying. She'll get caught by ss eventually. Liars can't lie forever or at least sure they can lie forever but not without exposing themselves.
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