At My Wits End with Boyfriend's 14 yr old Daughter!!! ***Update***
This is my first time posting to a group, so forgive me if I get too wordy.
I'm not a stepmom yet and may never be if things continue on the present path. Here's the situation:
I have lived with my boyfriend, "P" and his 14 yr old daughter, "K" for 3.5 years along with my sons (13 & 11) and daughter (7).
Since day one things have not been great. "K" is ADHD and "P" uses it as an excuse for everything. She is always extremely rude and disrespectful to me and nothing is ever done about it. I love "P", but this is just pushing me further and further away from him.
"P" works offshore 2 weeks a month. During that time "K" is with her mother. I hate to admit it but I am my happiest and relaxed when she isn't here.
For the past few years, I've dealt with her bullying my children, calling me names and telling me she wished I had died from my cancer. I had Stage IIIA Breast Cancer last year. I'm doing great now but she is wearing me thin.
Yesterday was the last straw. I was trying to explain to her that the world unfortunately judges you by the way you dress. She dresses inappropriately a lot of the time. At the age of 14, she is built like a woman. For her Mardi Gras Ball gown, she has picked out a strapless and low cut in the back gown that is about 6 inches above the knee. People here typically pick out floor length gowns that are pretty modest. She told me " Bitch, this is my house and you should pack up your shit and leave." All "P" said was "Now, "K", that's not nice." Seriously? NO punishment!!
After her outburst, she was allowed to go to her mother's house for a BBQ and have a friend spend the night. I resent the fact that her dad wants to be the good guy and never punish her or if he does, she's let off punishment within an hour.
When my children act out, they lose all privileges for at least a day. This is a rare occurrence however. My children listen and are respectful. They don't understand why "K" is never punished. Things need to change, but I'm afraid they never will. I can't marry a man who won't control his daughter.
Thank you for hearing me out.
After a lengthy talk with "P", I have decided to leave for my children's and my sake. He leaves tomorrow to go back offshore. That gives me 2 weeks to get my situation settled.