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Blending Families-The 'CRUSH' phase...

Posted by on Jan. 20, 2014 at 4:03 PM
  • 15 Replies

 So my son, age 7, has been making noticeable comments and gestures showing that he has a crush on my SD, age 9. Nothing inappropriate has happened at the moment except for the awkwardness that we feel noticing it as parents and I think that SD is catching on. SD has a brother almost the same age so I do not think she is thinking of my son in the same way that he is thinking of her. I do think she likes the attention but is not quite sure how to react towards him. Question is, do I talk to my son about the fact that they are siblings now and that he can not behave that way to his new sister or do I leave it along and let it phase out on its own? I am afraid of making him act out more if I call him out on the situation, but I am concerned that things will get more awkward as time goes on OR worse. Has anyone else had this problem? What did you do?

by on Jan. 20, 2014 at 4:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
charleyangel317
by on Jan. 20, 2014 at 4:05 PM
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 Maybe have dh talk to him. Might be easier on him coming from a man than his mom.

progressandjoy
by Silver Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 4:28 PM
1 mom liked this

When my foster brother came to live with us he had a huge crush on me.

I remember one day, right after he'd come to live with us, I was taking him to school. He started telling me about how his best friend had a huge crush on a girl. He said she drove a red truck, wore red glasses, had long brown hair, liked to listen to 3 Doors Down, and was wearing a pink shirt. Guess who fit that description to a tee? He then started saying that the girl was a little bit older than his friend (I was eighteen, fb was six), but the friend was going to marry her. He then said, "I love her so much, I'll never even hit her."

I told him that he and his friend were too young to be worrying about girls. He then asked, "When I'm eighteen, how old will you be?" I told him that I would be old and thirty. He said, "I can get married at eighteen. Don't worry, I'll wait for you."

It was a very nerve wracking situation. He made up some  very serious lies when he was angry at someone, so I always worried that he'd get mad at me and make up a story. My mom took his ‘crush' seriously and told the case workers, and his therapist about it. We all discouraged him from worrying about girls, and eventually he stopped talking about how he wanted to marry me.

He was always very attached to me though. Even after I'd moved out and gotten married.

packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Jan. 20, 2014 at 4:48 PM
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This is something that can happen when you put two unrelated kids in close quarters.  


jlg12678
by Gold Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 4:49 PM
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Eh, leave it be. They are kids and it's normal.

My osd has a stepbrother on bm's side who is two years younger than he. He crushed on her BAD for a good two years solid.

He outgrew it. No one had to talk to him about it.

They are kids...I'd leave it be.

pepper504
by Gold Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 4:57 PM


Quoting jlg12678:

Eh, leave it be. They are kids and it's normal.

My osd has a stepbrother on bm's side who is two years younger than he. He crushed on her BAD for a good two years solid.

He outgrew it. No one had to talk to him about it.

They are kids...I'd leave it be.

This.

As an aside, BM's SS15 has a crush on me.  Has for a couple of years.  It's quite hilarious, if you ask me.  BM's current DH hates me about as much as BM, yet neither have met me, and his son has a crush on me, lol. 

Oh, and I am friends with BM's current DH's exwife.  Small ass world!

USBrit
by Silver Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 5:11 PM
2 moms liked this

Technically, they aren't really siblings soooooo, unless it becomes something that is uncomfortable for SD9 then I wouldn't worry about it.

TNmtngirl
by on Jan. 20, 2014 at 6:02 PM
Thank you all for your input. I think I am going to leave it be for now and keep an eye on it.
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 9:37 PM
2 moms liked this
Lol I had a crush on one of my dads girlfriends sons when I was a teen. Oddly enough when my dad and her broke up - he and I went on a couple of dates.

They are not siblings so it's not necessarily a bad thing.

I would just it go. The longer they spend together - hopefully he will start to be annoyed by his 'step sister' like most siblings do...
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AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 10:27 AM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't worry about it too much. They are both really young. Just keep an eye on things and if Sd becomes uncomfortable revisit sitting down and talking to your son. Most likely it's just a crush of convienence-she is the pretty girl in the room next door- and it will fizzle out in it's own time.
GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 1:13 PM

My DH has/had a friendship with a couple that used to be stepsibs.  Like, parents married when they were 4 and 8 years old and divorced when the youngest of the two was a HS senior.  They are very weird though.  I have only met them one time.  Don't care to again.


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