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how could she not know? (vent)

Posted by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 6:10 AM
  • 84 Replies
dad got a call from bm while she was at the school with guidance counselor (guess counselor made bm call dad) and then the phone was passed to the counselor. Looks like sd has not been doing any School work for the last two months!...

How could bm not know!?
by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 6:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MommySabs
by Gold Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 6:13 AM
5 moms liked this
How could dad not know either?!
BrownEyedGirl86
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 6:51 AM
3 moms liked this
How does no one know???
kpnthefaith
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 7:17 AM
Bm doesn't tell dad anything...there's no communication...and the school doesn't ever return his calls eventhough they have his # and email...

Quoting MommySabs: How could dad not know either?!
BrownEyedGirl86
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 7:21 AM
3 moms liked this
Then dad needs to go to te higher ups!!!!! That's called parental alienation and the school can get in huge trouble for it.

He needs to provide them with an order showing he has joint custody of some type (I believe) and tell them he wans weekly reports on her progress. Or whatever it is that he wants. And if that doesn't happen then you go immediately up the chain of command.


Quoting kpnthefaith: Bm doesn't tell dad anything...there's no communication...and the school doesn't ever return his calls eventhough they have his # and email...



Quoting MommySabs: How could dad not know either?!
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 7:23 AM
1 mom liked this

Both mom and dad should have been following more closely. Does dad communicate with teachers? if not, he should start.

Quoting kpnthefaith: Bm doesn't tell dad anything...there's no communication...and the school doesn't ever return his calls eventhough they have his # and email...

Quoting MommySabs: How could dad not know either?!


Leigh84
by Gold Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 7:25 AM
1 mom liked this
We had that problem w/OSS at one point. We knew about his grades tho b/c there's a website for students and their parents so they can view grades/assignments after the teacher posts them.

Do you know why she hasn't been doing hw? In our case it was b/c OSS thought if he acted out like that DH would send him to live w/BM. Turns out he just kept his self from being eligible to try out for sports (OSS loves sports) and being able to do anything w/his friends.
Leigh84
by Gold Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 7:28 AM
This too

When DH got custody BM apparently didn't have him on any of the paperwork or contact info. DH had to take the co to the school and fill out all the paperwork again bc the school won't let you just add one parent. They said everything had to be filled out again.

Quoting BrownEyedGirl86: Then dad needs to go to te higher ups!!!!! That's called parental alienation and the school can get in huge trouble for it.



He needs to provide them with an order showing he has joint custody of some type (I believe) and tell them he wans weekly reports on her progress. Or whatever it is that he wants. And if that doesn't happen then you go immediately up the chain of command.




Quoting kpnthefaith: Bm doesn't tell dad anything...there's no communication...and the school doesn't ever return his calls eventhough they have his # and email...





Quoting MommySabs: How could dad not know either?!
BrownEyedGirl86
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 7:35 AM
Something similar happened to us

As wasn't feeling well I drop him off at school Mondays so it was a Monday. I couldn't get in touch w bm (mind you she lives 3 mins if that from then school we live about 30miles) anyway I called dh asked himwhat to do he told me take ss back w me and he would deal w te rest.

We were in the nurse and she pulled up his emergency card and I wasn't on it so I couldn't take him w out a parent saying ok and dh wasn't listed as his father.
Thank god the principal had seen me years every Monday and at school events and he spoke with dh (bm ad her husband have a different last name and ss is named after dh). Anyway he took a copy of my license and let me take ss home w me.
Needless to say dh ripped into bm and went to the school to fill out a new card.
We also had problems w a secretary at one school speaking about ss's school and dh found out and immediately went to the board of Ed.

It's pathetic how some separated parents behave.


Quoting Leigh84: This too



When DH got custody BM apparently didn't have him on any of the paperwork or contact info. DH had to take the co to the school and fill out all the paperwork again bc the school won't let you just add one parent. They said everything had to be filled out again.



Quoting BrownEyedGirl86: Then dad needs to go to te higher ups!!!!! That's called parental alienation and the school can get in huge trouble for it.





He needs to provide them with an order showing he has joint custody of some type (I believe) and tell them he wans weekly reports on her progress. Or whatever it is that he wants. And if that doesn't happen then you go immediately up the chain of command.






Quoting kpnthefaith: Bm doesn't tell dad anything...there's no communication...and the school doesn't ever return his calls eventhough they have his # and email...







Quoting MommySabs: How could dad not know either?!
sara82lee
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 7:35 AM
1 mom liked this
To ask the teacher to send weekly updates is a bit much. Dad could email the teacher and ask, and if he emails he should be able to expect a response within a day, or at least within two days.

A teacher I used to work with had a parent who wanted daily updates (obviously a bit more extreme). The teacher told the parent that when she got daily updates about how the child was doing at home, she'd be happy to reciprocate. I about died on the floor of laughter right in front of the parent. The look on his face was priceless.

Obviously, these teachers seem like their communication could use some improvement. But teachers don't like it when parents come in and demand, like they are somehow at a parent's beck and call. The teacher would also be more apt to communicate better with dad if they were convinced it was going to have a positive effect on the kid. If she thinks that it's going to be a waste of time to let dad know what's going on (whether justified in that thinking or not), she's not going to be highly motivated to take her limited time to do it.

Quoting BrownEyedGirl86: Then dad needs to go to te higher ups!!!!! That's called parental alienation and the school can get in huge trouble for it.



He needs to provide them with an order showing he has joint custody of some type (I believe) and tell them he wans weekly reports on her progress. Or whatever it is that he wants. And if that doesn't happen then you go immediately up the chain of command.




Quoting kpnthefaith: Bm doesn't tell dad anything...there's no communication...and the school doesn't ever return his calls eventhough they have his # and email...





Quoting MommySabs: How could dad not know either?!
BrownEyedGirl86
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 7:39 AM
I get that but if the child isn't handing anything in and on Fridays dad asks for an email of what was missed or a Letter home or almething that works for both parties I don't see the big deal.

How is dad in this instance supposed to help if no one is willing to communicate w him. Clearly his daughter is getting away w what she is allowed to at bms and bm isn't wanton to make her do work and stay on her so what is the next best thing. I would have assumed going directly to he source and asking the teacher to either give a heads up of what's going on at school or what she isn't completing that way dad can be on her and she can hand work in late at least.


Quoting sara82lee: To ask the teacher to send weekly updates is a bit much. Dad could email the teacher and ask, and if he emails he should be able to expect a response within a day, or at least within two days.



A teacher I used to work with had a parent who wanted daily updates (obviously a bit more extreme). The teacher told the parent that when she got daily updates about how the child was doing at home, she'd be happy to reciprocate. I about died on the floor of laughter right in front of the parent. The look on his face was priceless.



Obviously, these teachers seem like their communication could use some improvement. But teachers don't like it when parents come in and demand, like they are somehow at a parent's beck and call. The teacher would also be more apt to communicate better with dad if they were convinced it was going to have a positive effect on the kid. If she thinks that it's going to be a waste of time to let dad know what's going on (whether justified in that thinking or not), she's not going to be highly motivated to take her limited time to do it.



Quoting BrownEyedGirl86: Then dad needs to go to te higher ups!!!!! That's called parental alienation and the school can get in huge trouble for it.





He needs to provide them with an order showing he has joint custody of some type (I believe) and tell them he wans weekly reports on her progress. Or whatever it is that he wants. And if that doesn't happen then you go immediately up the chain of command.






Quoting kpnthefaith: Bm doesn't tell dad anything...there's no communication...and the school doesn't ever return his calls eventhough they have his # and email...







Quoting MommySabs: How could dad not know either?!
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