My Father Died last week and my MIL is angry because my SKs names weren't listed in the Obituary
My 85 year old father died suddenly last week. He was an exceptional man, funny, smart, loving, kind, and devoted to God, my mother, and his family. Before his death, he planned for his passing. He saved the money for his funeral, bought life insurance, and marked a folder "DEATH" in which he wrote out directions to the Social Security office, instructions for his pension, etc. Among the things he did was write his obituary! In it he listed as survivors, my mother, me and my brother, and his two grandchildren. He did not list my DH or my brother's wife. He dearly loved both of them. My brother's theory was that he only listed blood relatives thinking in-laws could have left the family through divorce, but blood family could never be anything but family. We don't really know his reasoning. Maybe he just wasn't thinking.
In any case, two days after the funeral, my MIL became really ugly with me about the obituary saying ,"I didn't know your dad thought so little of SD and SS that he would leave them out" and "after we included __(my DS) in ours (my FIL's obituary) I would have thought you would have included SD and SS in your dad's." I told her if we had it might hae looked odd since SD and SS hadn't bothered to come to the visitation. She said maybe if I had put their names in the paper maybe they would have! SD is 23 and SS is 26. Neither of them have had anything to do with my dad since they were children. They had not been close. They never visited, called, or remembered them at birthdays, holidays, Christmas, etc.
This rant came AFTER my DH had explained the circumstances to her, and after he had said he should have proofread the typed obituary from the funeral home secretary, but had not thought to do so. She still persisted. After a few minutes of this conversation and my MIL getting more critical, I finally told her I wasn't going to listen to any criticism of my father, I had just buried him two days ago and he had looked after me my entire life until his death more than anyone else ever had. What would you ladies do about a MIL like this going forward? In MIL's family, "blood really is thicker than water." apparently.