BM has opened a child support review for modification. Currently, DH pays $900/mo, provides health insurance, half of medical, and half of all extras. Custody is 60/40.
So, we just received additional paperwork that BM had submitted to the attorney's office overseeing the case, and it was 4 pages of false statements and exaggerations, with the intent of making DH look like an uninvolved, disinterested dad who has tons of money that he just chooses not to share with the kids, and making her look like the poor victim in all of this.
Here are just a few examples
- That BM cashed in her retirement to pay DH's debts leaving her without retirement (the truth: BM used her retirement for a down payment on their first house together and as a result received 1/2 of DH's retirement in the divorce).
- That DH drops the kids off at BM's house before school so then she is responsible for getting them to school (the truth: they walk from her house to school, she's not even there).
- That DH never goes to any events or provides transportation if it's not his day (the truth: DH always goes to events unless he's working, and during basketball season DH actually went to BM's house after work, picked up SS13, took him to practice, picked him back up, and dropped him off at BMs. And last winter when the weather was horrible, I drove to BM's every morning and took the kids to school so they wouldn't have to walk).
- That DH hasn't paid for 1/2 of things in 7 years, including medical expenses (the truth: DH has always paid for half of medical and orthodontics as required, and also half of everything else that's not required. He does have proof. The ONLY expense he refused in 7 years is 1/2 of lacrosse this past December, because 1) it was christmas time and 2) this CS stuff was already going on and he was getting worried.
There are so many more, but for the sake of time and space I'll stop there. The point it, she was clearly trying to paint a picture of a dad that's completely uninvolved in his kids lives and not willing to support them any more than he has to - which could not be farther from the truth. DH is a wonderful father that would do anything for his kids. But DH already lives paycheck to paycheck, and he truly could not afford to pay more than $900 a month without us having to find ways to cut expenses by moving to a smaller place. My income is separate from his, but I have so much student loan debt, I can't afford to pay him more than the small amount I pay each month to help out with utilities, food, and rent ($300/mo).
To provide a little financial info: The $900/mo in child support makes it so BM makes $630/mo more than DH. BM is seeking the full amount stated on the worksheets (which doesn't account for any custody deviations) of $1455/mo. This would mean BM's net income would be $1721 greater than DH's - for 60/40 custody. She's also demanding 1/2 of everything else on top of that.
I understand that all the court will consider is the incomes and custody, so neither of us are really worried about her getting the full amount.
What I'm struggling with is that my husband is even having to deal with this! I love him so much, and I am protective of him, and this has just been so stressful. Even though his financial situation doesn't directly affect me (except for us having to move to a smaller house, which I'd be fine with but I doubt the kids would be, since right now they all get their own rooms), it's just so hard to see him have to go through this. I just don't understand this mindset of just wanting to ruin someone financially, for what? How will this benefit the kids?