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help!! bm wont stop involving the need if my husband in all of her personal needs

Posted by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:21 AM
  • 40 Replies
I have fought constantly with my husband over this.

Short history... he got someine preg. We never divorced. He lived with her until his baby girl was just 2 mos old. Then he took the baby and lived with his mother. Then when she was just 4 mos old we moved back in toghether.
Our daughter is now 3 yrs 4 mos old. The BM has constantly been involving herself with my husband and 90% of the time it doesnt even involve her daughter.

He seems to think that this is just a normal thing. Im at my wits end help!!!
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:28 AM
3 moms liked this
There is so much more to this story that it is hard to give advice. At first glance, I would say that he is still involved with her on some level and their relationship never completely ended. Whether it is still a friendship or a romantic relationship, I can't say. However, no matter what, they are still connected for the rest of their lives through their daughter.

This entire situation must be incredibly difficult. When you reconciled, did you go through counseling? At this point, the two of you really need it.
oldproatthis
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:32 AM
2 moms liked this
Getting coffee and settling In for this show....
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:42 AM
2 moms liked this

I would suggest marriage counselling, this isn't a SM or BM problem.

KWIM
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:45 AM
7 moms liked this
So, you expect a woman who knowingly had an affair with a married man to suddenly grow some boundaries?

I think your husband is still involved with her, or if he isn't he wants to keep her handy in case he gets interested again.
zita1228
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:49 AM
You are right... we arent really h&w anymore. Its been a long stuggle and he says he has past the point of no return in our 'love life'. Which he dropped on me this week.

Quoting KWIM: So, you expect a woman who knowingly had an affair with a married man to suddenly grow some boundaries?



I think your husband is still involved with her, or if he isn't he wants to keep her handy in case he gets interested again.
zita1228
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:55 AM
Thanks you are right. There's nothing left in our marriage and he likes it that way. Kinda like having his cake and eating it too!!

Quoting leegirl_jm:

I would suggest marriage counselling, this isn't a SM or BM problem.

mouthyhousewife
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:58 AM
4 moms liked this

Then wtf are you sticking around for?

Quoting zita1228: You are right... we arent really h&w anymore. Its been a long stuggle and he says he has past the point of no return in our 'love life'. Which he dropped on me this week.

Quoting KWIM: So, you expect a woman who knowingly had an affair with a married man to suddenly grow some boundaries?



I think your husband is still involved with her, or if he isn't he wants to keep her handy in case he gets interested again.


zita1228
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 10:02 AM
Hes been physically disabled and im the primary caregiver of our daughter.

Quoting mouthyhousewife:

Then wtf are you sticking around for?

Quoting zita1228: You are right... we arent really h&w anymore. Its been a long stuggle and he says he has past the point of no return in our 'love life'. Which he dropped on me this week.



Quoting KWIM: So, you expect a woman who knowingly had an affair with a married man to suddenly grow some boundaries?





I think your husband is still involved with her, or if he isn't he wants to keep her handy in case he gets interested again.


kristinbugg
by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 10:04 AM
1 mom liked this
This is not "OUR" daughter. It is BM & DH's daughter. YOU are the one who needs to respect the boundaries of your role. Which is Dad's wife, NOT the child's parent or mother.
mouthyhousewife
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2014 at 10:04 AM
2 moms liked this

of YOUR daughter? Or the one he had with the other woman? 

He has two daughters?

Quoting zita1228: Hes been physically disabled and im the primary caregiver of our daughter.

Quoting mouthyhousewife:

Then wtf are you sticking around for?

Quoting zita1228: You are right... we arent really h&w anymore. Its been a long stuggle and he says he has past the point of no return in our 'love life'. Which he dropped on me this week.



Quoting KWIM: So, you expect a woman who knowingly had an affair with a married man to suddenly grow some boundaries?





I think your husband is still involved with her, or if he isn't he wants to keep her handy in case he gets interested again.



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