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Have no clue what to do, but tired of being the nice guy! (long vent)

Posted by on Feb. 3, 2014 at 8:50 PM
  • 43 Replies

I have been with my fiance for over two years, and I swear his BM has made these two years nothing but pure hell. She is constantly blowing up my SO phone no matter what the time is and half the time it isn't even about their daughter, its about her personal life. I get tons of snide remarks on anything and everything I do in my life that she finds out about (she seems to think I HAVE to have her on Facebook or we listen to complaining until I give in and accept the friend request). My SO got me a beautiful Origami Owl necklace for my bday that had all three kids represented, my SO and my birthstone, the word mom, and a couple other charms that represented us as a family... had to remove his daughters little charm cause I was a c**t for having it in there since I was not her mom and with the word mom in there that's what it meant. I had to sit back and act like it was okay when she demanded we did not get anything for SD that BM got her for Christmas, but yet we got SD a bike from Santa and BM went and got the same exact one and gave it to her first (guess the $1300 worth of other things wasn't enough). Then BM is constantly asking us for more and more money above what SO pays in child support, and we know she has the money. She recently lost her job and blew her 401K so she could get state help, not to mention her parents are paying all her bills while she sits at home on her butt.  My SO lost his job a week before Christmas so I am paying his child support on top of all the other bills. Her support is paid no matter what one of us need at the time, yet I am always the bad guy.. I also have two boys and unlike my SO's BM I do not push and push and push to get more and more money from my ex. This week she has thrown me under the bus over and over about how my SO is raising my kids and does nothing for their daughter. My SO is getting my kids off the bus, doing homework, and the whole nightly routine while I WORK to pay all our bills!!! He helped pay bills when he was working, but I do not ask him for help with anything my kids need. I do that on my own and with what little support I get from my ex. I am beyond over dealing with all the crap and just putting a smile on my face and acting like it is okay, cause it is not! Idk if I am acting like a big ass baby over this all, but I am over busting my butt in school and at work to provide my children a better life, while some pissed off BM talks crap about me. I have done nothing but give and give and treat SD as my own and don't deserve to be treated like shit.

ugh... just feels so much better writing it and getting it off my chest since I cannot vent to SO without him asking me to just play nice and not open my mouth and tell his BM what's up.

by on Feb. 3, 2014 at 8:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GlockMom
by Gold Member on Feb. 3, 2014 at 8:56 PM
1 mom liked this
Stop interacting with her.
amantonacci
by Gold Member on Feb. 3, 2014 at 8:57 PM
3 moms liked this

Why don't you just stop talking to her.. And ask your boyfriend to stop telling you what she's said?

Boobear110
by Audra on Feb. 3, 2014 at 9:05 PM
1 mom liked this

What they both said . ^^^

Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Feb. 3, 2014 at 9:06 PM
4 moms liked this

Why are you allowing her so much space in your head?!

Tell her to fuck off-block all contact with her-tell your SO you want nothing to do with her INCLUDING anything she said to him or the kids about you and enjoy your nice quiet life

cLanief
by Bronze Member on Feb. 3, 2014 at 9:09 PM
Why the hell do you guys allow such bs ?! Ever heard of the word no or not sharing or telling her to shut her pie hole?
DesertFlower197
by Member on Feb. 3, 2014 at 9:14 PM
1 mom liked this

I stopped interacting with BM this past summer, and guess what?!?  I think she and I are BOTH happier.

oldproatthis
by Silver Member on Feb. 3, 2014 at 9:37 PM
1 mom liked this
Why does BM know so much about you? Seriously...like down to the necklace you wear? I think this is actually because you enjoy getting under her skin...because it's really simple to solve, you let SO interact with her if you don't want the drama. No one is forcing you to have contact with her. You're making a choice, and I think it's for the drama and entertainment value for you.
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Feb. 3, 2014 at 9:41 PM
2 moms liked this

honestly the necklace with "mom" on it was kind of creepy. 

As for the rest of your post, I think you are focusing on your boyfriend's ex too much. Just ignore her and go about your business. Let your boyfriend handle her. You would be better off not talking to her, or about her, at all.

linmei
by on Feb. 3, 2014 at 9:42 PM
1 mom liked this
Don't waste your energy in thoughts about her. Focus on you and your goals. Success is the biggest revenge. Be happy blow her off and act happy as a clam. Don't let her know she upsets you in the slightest! Smile and look great doing it. Kill her with kindness and that will drive her crazy!
Seychelles1409
by Silver Member on Feb. 3, 2014 at 10:42 PM
4 moms liked this

This situation is beyond me for the simple reason I don't understand why any mother would spend money that should be going towards her own childrens' support and college education funds and instead is going towards paying another man's child support.    Beyond that why are you paying so much attention to BM?   Don't interact with her.   She's not your concern.   SO is the only one who should be in contact with her.   

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