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wat would/should you do....

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 12:33 AM
  • 11 Replies
If the other parent does not Let you parent?

If the ncp wants to be involved in decisions,appts ect but the cp doesn't inform you....
you've gone to court and expressed yourself but still are not being involved.
Even when the co says so. And have filed contempt and gotten nowhere. And are tired of the fighting...

Wat do you do?
do you just give up and let the cp take over and just see your child on visits? and parent them on just your time?
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 12:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 12:59 AM
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This happened to DH. He just went over BM's head. He contacted medical professionals directly. When BM refused to tell him what specialists SD was seeing DH would contact SD's pediatrician and request all information regarding referrals to other professionals. DH would then contact them and request SD's medical records, he'd always give them a copy of the parenting plan and his driver's license (at the time SD lived with BM about 4 hours away from us).

DH would contact SD's school and find out who her teacher was at the beginning of the year. He'd then send her teacher an email introducing himself and requesting that he be added to the email list and that all papers that went home with SD be mailed to his house or scanned and emailed to him.

Amazingly enough he had a great relationship with all of SD's providers and her teachers, better than BM at times. DH is now CP, so it's no longer an issue.

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:12 AM
I've never been in this situation so i can't say how easy or difficult it would be but if I were NCP I would just go over the CPs head. I would try very hard not to rely on the cp for info. I would keep in contact with doctors and with the school. I know my daughters orthodontist emails my ex after each visit. Keeps me out of the mix. He deals directly with her. Not sure about the doctor but I do know that our doctor office is set up online and he has access to my daughters records. He gets the follow up emails just like I do. Granted I inform him when she is sick or sees the dr but I know he does keep in contact with the doctor.

The school - same thing. He doesn't go through me. He goes directly to the source.

As far as parenting the actual child - yes he only parents her when he has her. same with me. I parent when she is with me.

He is as involved as he wants to be. He doesn't need me to be involved. He can do it on his own.
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pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:35 AM

You just keep being a parent.  You find other ways to get information.  You go to school and meet teachers and staff.  You go to ECs.  You call everyday.  You parent.

AtillaTheHun
by facta, non verba on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:53 AM

Your DH has filed contempt of court and they just ignored it? That's strange. What did the judge have to say? Nothing at all?

My DH has been in a similar situation, filed for contempt and BM got her ass handed by the judge. She took SD to see a doctor during her visit because SD had burns all over both hands. BM didn't tell DH anything about it. When SD came back she told us, and DH questioned BM right away. She pretended not to know what he was talking about. We found out where she took SD to, and had the documents sent to us. 

Your DH should get medical information from the doctors directly. He could ask them to inform him whenever BM makes an appointment. All he needs to do is give them a copy of the court order. 

MommySabs
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:22 AM
1 mom liked this
You never expect the cp to do your job in the first place. An ncp is still able to access information from the school and can make themselves involved, they don't need to wait for the cp to give it to them.
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 7:29 AM

Be involved where and when you can, that is it. I don't think this should be a battle but if the circumstances are such that cooperation is impossible, you just do what you can, within reason, I think personality will determine how much and how hard one will fight.

tiafez
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 7:48 AM

This 


Quoting MommySabs: You never expect the cp to do your job in the first place. An ncp is still able to access information from the school and can make themselves involved, they don't need to wait for the cp to give it to them.


BrownEyedGirl86
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 7:52 AM
File parental alienation and talk to a lawyer about options
kpnthefaith
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 8:15 AM
Cp always lies in court...says ncp is always late ir diesnt show up to see child. Says that Ncp doesn't take child to appts when cp asks and so on..
(ncp wanted to get child an HOUR EARLY)

Letter from judge then just said DENIED


Quoting AtillaTheHun:

Your DH has filed contempt of court and they just ignored it? That's strange. What did the judge have to say? Nothing at all?

My DH has been in a similar situation, filed for contempt and BM got her ass handed by the judge. She took SD to see a doctor during her visit because SD had burns all over both hands. BM didn't tell DH anything about it. When SD came back she told us, and DH questioned BM right away. She pretended not to know what he was talking about. We found out where she took SD to, and had the documents sent to us. 

Your DH should get medical information from the doctors directly. He could ask them to inform him whenever BM makes an appointment. All he needs to do is give them a copy of the court order. 

kpnthefaith
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 8:16 AM
...so ncp gave up going to court

Quoting kpnthefaith: Cp always lies in court...says ncp is always late ir diesnt show up to see child. Says that Ncp doesn't take child to appts when cp asks and so on..

(ncp wanted to get child an HOUR EARLY)



Letter from judge then just said DENIED




Quoting AtillaTheHun:

Your DH has filed contempt of court and they just ignored it? That's strange. What did the judge have to say? Nothing at all?

My DH has been in a similar situation, filed for contempt and BM got her ass handed by the judge. She took SD to see a doctor during her visit because SD had burns all over both hands. BM didn't tell DH anything about it. When SD came back she told us, and DH questioned BM right away. She pretended not to know what he was talking about. We found out where she took SD to, and had the documents sent to us. 

Your DH should get medical information from the doctors directly. He could ask them to inform him whenever BM makes an appointment. All he needs to do is give them a copy of the court order. 

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