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BM Wants to Uproot Kids - WWYD?

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:02 PM
  • 65 Replies

Hello all,

I am new to this group and at the end of my rope for looking for resources!  I have 3 stepsons in grade school.  They have been in the same school since kindergarten, and struggle keeping up with their peers.  BM wants to pull them out of school for three months next winter and take them out of state to a warmer climate (for selfish reasons).

We have a court date scheduled to discuss this, but she has already told the boys they are going.  I have to say, I have been appalled at the way the court has handled what seem to me to be ludicrous decisions on her part.  I am concerned that they will side with her and set a precedence for the next decade of the boys' lives.

We are more than able to have the boys stay with us while their mother leaves the state, in a stable, two-parent home (she has had men move in and out of her residence), and have expressed this desire.  The city to which she wants to take the boys is notorious for reckless behavior (partying, drugs, etc.), and not anywhere I would ever want my young children to be.

It seems so obvious that the boys should stay here with us, but I fear the worst and don't know how to proceed to make the court see reason (as she clearly isn't going to).

Any help/suggestions are welcome!  Thank you for reading!

by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:07 PM
3 moms liked this

 its up to dad to do. i also have had occasion to be made fucking sick at the horrible decisions that court makes. hope for the best. get an attorney.

macbudsmom
by Silver Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:07 PM
how does she plan on schooling them during those 3 months?
malinda74
by Bronze Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:12 PM
Ummm yea...this. maybe its different in other states but round here you can't just pull your kids out of school for three months. There's this silly law that requires kids to be in a school or home schooled.

Quoting macbudsmom: how does she plan on schooling them during those 3 months?
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:24 PM
2 moms liked this

Is there a CO in place?  If so, does it cover this sort of thing?  Most CO's I've ever been privvy to have clauses about moving--requiring the other parents' permission else the children stay put.

And further, school wise--has she said she's not planning on putting them in another school during that time?

Anything in particular that you can think of that prompted this?  Does BM have a history of making statements like this to get a reaction? It's a year away and this has been a REALLY crappy winter for many.  Just wondering how serious this really is.

But bottom line, if your DH doesn't have a CO he needs one and if there's not a clause in the CO about relocation, then if I were in his shoes, I'd petition to modify the CO and include one.

michwildflower
by New Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:29 PM

She says there is a "flexible school" program there that the kids can be enrolled in for the three month period.  Maybe there is, but I don't see how that will correspond with the curriculum the boys have here (or the extra reading resources, etc. their school has been providing since they started because they struggle!)!

michwildflower
by New Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:33 PM

We just had a hearing and the current CO states that this is on the table for discussion at the next hearing in August.  BM did this with her mother when she was growing up (oh, so many levels of disfunction in that world!!).  She has been holding this as a trump card for a long time, and I cannot believe the court would go along with it, but the fact that they've even scheduled a hearing to discuss it concerns me.  We have an attorney, but I have seen this court side with BM again and again, just because she is the BM (this particular county is still infamous for that, although it seems that most have caught up with modern times)!

Thanks for the replies - it helps to know others go through this type of thing!

venessaw04
by Bronze Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:36 PM

Where exactally is she going?  I definetly would not want the kids to be pulled out of school for three months i mean thats what summer is for.  when is she wanting to do this?  What is the CO as it stands now?

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:48 PM

How much visitation time does dad have now with them?

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:49 PM

Well, not sure where you are in MI, but being from MI also, I understand that there is a lot of bias in favor of the mother and short of mom being in jail, chances aren't real high that a father will get much traction on custody.

What do you mean about "it's on the table for a hearing in Aug"...just for that issue only?  Or is there other stuff going on?

packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Feb. 12, 2014 at 5:51 PM
2 moms liked this

You're not a two parent home. Remarriage has nothing to do with it. If dad couldn't do it without you there he doesn't need to try for it when you are. 

You think it is selfish and that her reasons are ludicrous. She may feel you having an opinion on her choices is the same, especially if you're making it known to her in any way. 

It seems obvious to you because you don't like their mother. 

You don't get to procede with the courts. This is for the parents to work out. 

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