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"The step kid always gets between us"

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 12:45 AM
  • 38 Replies
6 moms liked this
Literally. Like when a SM complains that skids gets between or walks along all up on dad.

9 out of 10 times if you just ignore and allow the kid to get their dad time, it doesn't become an issue. You know that, right? Ss5 sometimes lays on the other end of the sectional. I let him. It's rare nowadays. He used to come crying to the bed. Now, if he did it nightly, I think SO would have put his foot down. But he didn't do it nightly. It was occasionally and I figured he had a bad dream and needed dad.

A few times, ss10 Wanted to sleep on the couch in our room. No complaints. After a few days, he wanted his own bed.

There are exceptions to every rule. But for the most part, if you don't make an issue, it's not an issue.
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 12:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
chanizen
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 6:36 AM

I so agree.  Great post

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 6:47 AM
1 mom liked this

agreed. It never occured to me to get upset when SS visited his father to get upset when he wanted to sit all over him and sleep with him. I thought it was sweet. Plus, DH had to deal with MY kid always interrupting and sitting all over me all month long!

Bm4sm3
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 6:55 AM
Some sm's need to realize that the kids were there before they were in the picture. Especially for ncp's who only have the kids 4 nights out of the month. Grant it bd's should put their foot down to sm's when it comes to when kids want their dad.
Bm4sm3
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 7:01 AM
When my ss's visit I back off of my dh so that his boys feel comfortable enough to hang with their dad. We also plan 'date days' with dad. This gives them alone time with their dad.

I'm lucky because my older ss's (14 & 11) are very open about things. Heck they ask for alone time with me doing things even if it means just helping with dinner.

At times (summertime) we can all 7 of our kids together which takes for some creative planning to give each child their own time but dh and I communicate very well and support each other especially when it comes to the kids. They are only kids for so long, need to cherish the memories while we can.
BrownEyedGirl86
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 7:04 AM
I wish it was that simple and easy to fix here
wise.toes
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 8:21 AM
2 moms liked this

i do agree! however sharing a bed is something i didn't budge on. both of us came into the relationship with kids that had a habit of crawling into bed with us. it sucked at first, but we broke them of that habit. if they need nighttime snuggles we'll crawl into bed with them instead.

however, we're both custodial parents. i'm sure if SO had his children EOWE i'd be less inclined to stick to that "rule"

Silent_Sea
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 8:31 AM
I think there are extremes which are hard to tolerate and the parents job to fix. The behavior I experience in public is getting between to isolate and control DH. It isn't affection like normal, very hard to explain, and gets worse the more it is allowed.

I think it important to know the history.

Of course, we have has the stepkids in I uor bed and we all snuggle on the couch or rub backs. I separate out things.
tinybluemoon
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 9:16 AM

I don't share my bed with my SC. My bed is mine. DH can sleep in their bed, or they can sleep in the small bed next to my closet, but they are not welcome in my bed.

Couches, it's first in best dress. People can sit wherever the hell they please, on whomever they please as long as the other person is a willing participant. I don't care.

But I get game of thrones over my bed. 


EricaG87
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 9:42 AM
I never had a problem because while DH loves SD and gives her hugs and kisses and stuff, he is not big into cuddling kids but he is hugely into cuddling/hugging/kissing me so I never felt jealous of SD. I have no clue if it would bother me or not. DH for some reason has this thing where his last kiss and hug before he goes to work or somewhere HAS to be from me. There have been a couple of times when SD would say she wanted the last kiss and DH just says "Nope, M gets the last kiss". I've worried that stuff like that might cause jealously issues with SD but it doesn't seem to.
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 12:31 PM
1 mom liked this
I wasn't targeting anyone. There are exceptions to every rule.

Quoting Silent_Sea: I think there are extremes which are hard to tolerate and the parents job to fix. The behavior I experience in public is getting between to isolate and control DH. It isn't affection like normal, very hard to explain, and gets worse the more it is allowed.



I think it important to know the history.



Of course, we have has the stepkids in I uor bed and we all snuggle on the couch or rub backs. I separate out things.
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