I have been reading these posts for the past few months and shocked at how many things people think BM is responsible for. Would it make it easier if everyone got along. Yes but that is just not reality.
It is not BMs job to keep you informed about medical or education. You want to know what is going on create a relationship with schools and doctors. Do not talk bad about BM while there, just be involved.
It is not BMs job to keep a relationship between DH and child. It is her job not to impede visitations or phone calls. However if she asks or annoys and DH says keep my kid during my time that is on DH not BM. I do not rely on the other parent for information, I go straight to the source.
Is it harder, yes it is, but it makes it so parenting is my responsibility, not the other parent. I am friends with other parents in my child's class and an active participant at school. I have a full time job and still make this a priority. I am at every doctor appointment. If I couldn't be I would have a phone conversation with the doctor after every appointment. Put the responsibility on the parent in your house.
If the BM doesn't follow the court order. File contempt. Do something. Don't just bitch it is not done. Be an active parent.