My 22yo SD is getting married in September. I've been in her life since she was a baby & we have a very close relationship. Hubby & I don't have any children together. I truly consider her my own.
Me & BM, however, are a different story (hubby & BM haven't spoken directly to each other in several yrs).
After all these years BM still says negative stuff about us to her daughter. Anyways, with an upcoming wedding things are bound to get a bit tense for all of us. I certainly don't want to put my SD in any awkward or stressful situation. Planning a wedding is hard enough! I'm not sure exactly where I fit in when it comes to helping her plan the wedding & search for a dress. Hubby says I should just let things happen & if SD wants my help or input she'll ask. I think I should tell her how I feel. I don't want her to have to chose between her mother & me. I'm an adult & i can most definitely put my feelings aside. I just don't know if her mother can do the same. I have a feeling BM would throw a fit if I was included on anything.
Should I talk to SD about how I'm feeling or just let it go & see what happens? I would be thrilled if she asked for my help. And I have to admit I would be crushed if she didn't.
Anyone who may have gone through this...I'd appreciate any advice! Thanks!!